I’ve noticed a couple of people are being a bit distant recently. People who were friends of my ex partner who passed away, but also me. I know they are grieving and probably finding it hard and also have other stuff going on that they need to deal with. They were vey supportive leading up to the funeral and we were in touch a lot. Now they aren’t really responding to my messages. I’m not pestering as I want to respect their space. It affects my mind tho, I start having more suicidal thoughts, as I worry they are angry at me. I start going over in my mind how I acted recently to see what I did or said and I’m beating myself up over the way I phrased my text messages that made them not want to respond. I don’t normally get this crazy when ppl don’t reply, it’s just because of the recent bereavement and I have some guilt around it. Has anyone else has these experiences? I’ll just leave them be and hope they make contact. X
@Octopus11 on top of all you’re going through, please dont add guilt about other people’s behaviour…
It really isn’t anything you’ve said or done.
Sometimes friends really don’t know what to do or even how to behave around the bereaved. They probably don’t even realise they’ve upset you, and as you’ve said they’re grieving too.
The people I thought I’d be able to rely on the most, were either absent or seemed to be completely different from the way they’d been before, weird even.
Other people I’ve barely spent time with previously, have held me up through the darkest days.
There are people on this site have been through this too, so it seems to be normal, whatever the hell normal is anymore!
Please don’t worry about them, true friends will be there when needed.
Look after yourself first x
Thank you x
@Octopus11 I’m a real advocate for counselling… its given me a safe space to talk all these things through and to cry without feeling judged. It might help x
I’m getting some counselling so I’ll bring this up x
@Octopus11 I confess I have been very fortunate with my friends…since my Dad passed away 9 months ago I have had a great deal of support. However one of my oldest friends has not been in touch at all - she hasn’t messaged, written, emailed, called or interacted on social media with me. It is hurtful…but my guess is she just doesn’t know what to say or is perhaps frightened of saying the wrong thing. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt