Today I brought some garden overall that my husband would have worn because his brother wants them and I can’t part with my husband actual overall but I’m not strong enough to say no
So I’ve washed them and rolled them round the garden
Why do people feel it’s ok to keep asking for things
5 Likes
Hi @Priscilla17,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Becca
Online Community Team
1 Like
They shouldn’t be asking for anything. Try to be strong and explain your not in the right place to part with them. People just dont undestand. Somebody laughed at me because i still pay for my husband’s mobile. Lack of understanding how hard it is to part with things, especially if they have not gone through it themselves.
3 Likes
Oh yes. I didnt see Nicks brother for a week after Nick passed away.
Then he turned up, eyes everywhere. Asking for things of nicks.
I said no, im not letting him in again.
Hes turned nasty.
Nick has left everything in the will to me plus we are married.
But, him and his brother had their names on both of their properties.
So Nick and Andy are on the deeds of our house and both are on Andys house… its complicated 
Ive been to a solicitor.
Because i wont let Andy in and we arent reading the will out until after the funeral 16th may. Andy turned nasty and said Nick transferred both houses to him in March 2024.
Nick couldn’t even feed himself let alone write. He went into an end of life nursing home on 13th march.
The solicitor said if hes done it, its fraud.
I cant help worrying though. I know Nick wouldn’t willingly do it. He was out of it on morphine though.
I cant sleep worrying 
Hes bullying me as he did with Nick 
The funny thing is id give everything up to have nick back, well.
We could live in a camper van travelling for all i care.
But, im 54… cant start all over again. This is Nick and my home with all our personal things in every room.
I need security. Im burying my husband and i cant cope with threats from his brother
Incredible how some people can be so nasty and greedy, and I’m sorry you’re having to go through all that even before the funeral. People show their true colours when it comes to money. Glad you’ve got a solicitor on side. You seem wise and strong, even if you may not feel like it atm. Keep away from him and protect yourself at the funeral. X
2 Likes
They are twins which makes it worse but Andy has always been known as the evil twin. Nick was always known as the lovely one.
Nick was trying to sort the houses out just before he died Andy wouldn’t agree.
I wont be talking to anyone at the funeral. Just need to get through it. X
3 Likes
I’m sorry about Nick and about what his brother is putting you through It’s horrible I know because I had family swooping in like vultures to my dads house within days taking this and that and I felt so grief stricken and reeling I was vulnerable so even though I was executor of the will and sole beneficiary I let them steam roller over me Now I regret what they took items of furniture of sentimental value only that I yearn to see again but I can’t get them back It’s hard dealing with grief and vultures I hope you have some support take care
1 Like
I don’t think that’s silly. Keeping their mobile is useful when some online service sends you a text to verify a password reset.
1 Like
I feel for you, its awaful your going though that on top of the loss of your husband. I know how you feel as im going through a similiar situation. I lost my husband 3 weeks and 3 days ago without warning. His sister came into my house and pretended to be concerned for me but in fact she was looking out for her nephew who is my husbands son from a previous relationship. The son is is a nasty person. But unfortunately my husband loved him even though he knew this. I have since found out my husband has left him all his assets except the house we lived in. I am struggling to understand this and had no idea.
1 Like
Omg im so sorry about this
Just when you need security.
Ive told Nicks brother if we owe him money to get him off the deeds ill pay it… but i think he will be difficult and it could end in court which will be unbearable
The sad part is we are all grieving and vulnerable. People play on that.
My solicitor has told me not to let him in or answer txts… or discuss anything.
The will is read after the funeral. I know Nick has left everything to me in the will. But, with his brother saying hes transferred both properties to him. I cant sleep with worry.
Nick couldn’t even feed himself in march. So, if his brother has done this. Its fraud.
Take care x
You will be in shock too being the last to find out. They sound wicked
Very deceitful and manipulating. It’s the same for you, he sounds very manipulating. Grief is bad enough without all this. It just makes you struggle even more. 
1 Like
Have you checked with the land registry ? Only costs a few quid and you can get an answer pretty quickly. HM Land Registry - GOV.UK
2 Likes
Yes my solicitor checks quite a lot. Theres nothing there up to now.
But, his brother indicated it will be before probate??
Hes not going to be happy anyway.
Im an executor to the will, so is an aunty who lives down south.
Nick has left everything to me and if i pass away my son.
Niall was 10 when me & Nick started our relationship and Nick does not have children.
I think he will contest the will anyway.
The solicitor doesnt want to send a copy of the will to the aunty until after the funeral.
I had trouble with Peter’s son he wasn’t speaking to us for 18 months before Peter’s death because we couldn’t go to his sons wedding due to my mobility problems he came to our house and told us he’d finished with us.Peter died very suddenly and he didn’t even contact me when he had been informed it was 5 weeks to the funeral I never heard from him.On the day of the funeral I was so numb he never entered my head I had no intention of been anything but dignified but didn’t want to see or communicate with him whatsoever.I couldn’t even book a venue for a wake because I’d no idea if him or his family would attend so just invited everyone back to my house.They came 8 of them and he kept trying to engage with me but it was easy in a crowded house to avoid him so it went as well as it could.After the funeral it was another story he came to my house demanded to see the will then contacted the solicitor wanting to contest it claiming he was next of kin because we never married been happily together for 38 years he didn’t get anywhere and I haven’t heard from him since.I despise him he’s an absolute vulture
1 Like
Thats terrible and just what you didnt need.
Nicks twin is vile… its hard to believe they are twins.
Years ago i was living in my own house and Nick was here. Nick called at mine, upset.
He said Andy had beat him up, saying he was going to break him physically and financially!
I asked why? Nick didn’t know… he said Andy had started a new gym and he thought he was taking steroids… making him aggressive.
I sold my house in 2018 because we were told Nicks tumour had shrunk. Unfortunately, it started growing again 2020.
I put 30k into this house. Nick had lived at mine for 7 years so when i moved in here it was full of damp and needed a lot of work doing.
Nick and i married 15th January 2024. Nick never believed in marriage because his mother and father had a bad one. But, he asked me to marry him and told me he was protecting me from that c**t!!
Nick had tried numerous times to sort the houses out with Andy… both names are on both deeds. Andy wanted a lot of money off Nick… nearly all of his retirement payout. Nick was distraught over it all.
Ive told Andy ill give him money, through the solicitors to sort it out.
No, he wants both houses and said when Nick was really ill, couldn’t feed himself let alone write. He signed the 2 houses over to Andy.
This would never happen… EVER!! So, its fraud and after probate if Andy has done this i will have to get the police involved.
Andy is now trying to break me as he did Nick
I haven’t seen or spoke to Andy.
The problem is the funeral is 16th May.
Im sure Andy will be all smug, saying him and Nick made their peace together before Nick passed away.
Im so mad 
Andy didnt even ask Nick how he was for all the years Nick was ill.
Andy is a narsacist and only talks about himself… on the very rare occasion we saw him.
Its like he was jealous of the love and lifestyle me and Nick had 
1 Like
Some people really are c*#nts aren’t they , he’s nothing but a bully and hopefully one day gets what usually comes to bullies when they pick on the wrong person .
I’m sure your solicitor will be able to get whatever Nick signed overturned , when that happens you can go on the offensive and teach him a lesson , as if both names were on both houses then as Nick left everything to you , then surely you own half the bullies house ? Watch him run a mile if that happens and you never have to hear from him again hopefully
1 Like
That’s absolutely shocking I really hope you get it sorted and he gets nothing.Peter gave his son and family a decent amount of money a few years ago and told him that’s what he was getting,he did this to protect me because he knew how greedy he was.He didn’t get a penny after his death but it prays on my mind regardless to think people can do this to you when you are at your very lowest is unforgivable.
1 Like
I know to make matters worse. I was so upset when Nick passed away Andy offered to register the death online.
He did but then he refused to give me the death certificate until i gave him Nicks ID… passport number, driving licence number and national insurance number.
Ive reported this to the solicitor.
Its heartbreaking that hes so calculated and evil.