Physical Grief

Hi yes i know the feeling x

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“No-one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” C.S.Lewis

It really does, doesn’t it? I posted something on these lines last year as a way of coping that I found helped a bit. Slow your breathing down, think of a sound you like, a song, a line of poetry, the sound of the sea and look at something beautiful in your surroundings. It isn’t a cure but a few people seem to have found it helpful when the feelings overwhelm us.

Hope this might help, we all need to know that we’re not alone xxx

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Yes, can confirm that breathing exercises and listening to sounds that calm you down does help. I would stand on the beach with my eyes shut and listen to the waves and recite words that helped me. I used nature as a form of therapy and again with eyes shut listened to the bird songs. Really can be fascinating listening to their morse code to each other. Yoga and pilates also proved helpful or going for a walk. At times my heart would be hammering away but all these things brought it back to normal. xx

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Hi. Jeannie. I would go further than C.S.Lewis and say that grief IS fear. In most of my posts I have said that when we are in state of grief we become anxious about so many things, Anxiety is always fear based. If there is no fear there can be no anxiety. But we are fearful aren’t we? Fear of the future without our loved ones. Fear of who will we talk to who will understand. Fear of maybe not being able to cope, of almost anything that we never feared before. Loss opens our emotions wide and we mourn without any clear view of the future. Who would not be fearful?
I agree with you about switching thoughts to better things. But it’s not always possible in the early stages of grief. We have to re-learn so much we may have forgotten
Take care. John.

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Thank you for your kind words you are correct it’s hard…and very frightening experience, it’s hard to cope but the hurt goes on…
Janet x

You sound very wise John. I have had lots of emotions throughout my life but don’t remember ever feeling fear like this. I had better going on the calming breathing app !

Hadn’t thougt about it that way John, but I can agree with what you’re saying. Fear of the future without them, fear of not having a reason to be.

I’ve tried the breathing and listening and walking - it may be too early for me, but I don’t want to stop trying

D

Hello, I also lost my husband 3 months ago I can feel fine one min then floods of tears and desolate.How to overcome the grief I dont know.x

Hi very sorry for your loss. I lost Mick to cancer during Covid 19 5 months ago you will have roller coaster of emotions I can’t lie. Hope you have support around you xx

Very sorry for your losses Kim and Sue.
My husband died from cancer too 3 months ago. I wonder when I will have a day without crying. I can only hope that feeling fine times increase and the desolate times decrease, but it will take time as we have lost a huge part of our lives.
Sadly, I have no answer but keep talking and asking for support💕

Hi. Sue and Welcome. Three months is no time at all, and let floods of tears come. Emotions will come out for some time. Don’t think you shouldn’t have them. It’s Nature’s way of helping relieve stress. You can’t ‘overcome’ grief, but you can go through the pain, and it’s a very painful one, with just a little hope in your heart. Twenty months ago when my wife died I too wished I could go, but I have weathered the worse part of the storm, but still have my moments when the tears come. We never ‘get over it’. That’s not possible, can we can learn to live with it. Your pain is great at this moment, so words will seem inadequate. It’s so good you have come here and I have no doubt you will have more replies. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. I hope you have some support at home.
Blessings. John.

True my tears flow every day sometimes hits from nowhere when I’m driving shopping etc I’m not breaking down every second but always on my mind my heart aches like mad. It’s doing things without them gets to me or going back to our empty home. Love to all x

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