Physical Grief

I’m interested to know if anyone else is suffering.

Apart from the emotional devestation I hv a wheezy cough from hell, exhaustion, breathlessness, lung and back ache.
It’s been 3 weeks n antibiotics didn’t help at all.
My sister in law (widowed too) said it was physical grieving.

Has anyone else felt like this?

When the body is going through a highly stressful period such as grief, then the immune system can become very ineffective and then even a minor infection can take a long time to resolve.

As you move through this terrible period in your life so your immune system will pick up again. I hope you are soon feeling better.


I’ve had physical symptoms too. Sometimes when I get upset and anxious I get an awful pain in my chest. There’s absolutely nothing physically wrong with me, it’s just a manifestation of the stress and strain of managing on my own. Also, I’ve had a cold virus for about 6 weeks, and can’t seem to shake it off, even though I eat really well and take a vitamin supplement x

I’ve just come across the following poem in a book and it’s very apt:

Waking confused at a world still turning,
Pain in heart, a constant yearning;
This is grieving.

Not wanting to get up this morning,
Exhausted with sorrowing;
This is grieving.

Sitting lonely, without speaking,
Not having much interest in eating;
This is grieving.

So much time spent in thinking,
Thoughts are sad, vainly racing;
This is grieving.

Stomach aches, a sinking feeling,
From reality, soul is reeling;
This is grieving.

Still alive, but barely breathing,
Wishing for a break from feeling;
This is grieving.

A loss so great that words are failing,
Can’t express just how it’s paining;
This is grieving.

Time isn’t speeding but slowing,
Can’t be turned back, just keeps going;
This is grieving.

Head bowed low, tears are falling,
Heart for hope is vainly calling;
This is grieving.

In the shadows, sit remembering,
Tears and memories without ending;
This is grieving.

Getting up each new morning,
Although it hurts, the world is turning;
This is grieving.

Cleaning house and doing washing,
Writing emails and going shopping;
Still it’s grieving.

1 Like

Dear All,
Thanks so much for your responses.
The world is such a lonely place when you spend every day crying and somedays crying all day.
When this happens I get such a pressure headache and with all the other things contribute to bringing one extremely low.
Hopefully this will pass and for you all too, thanks for responding.

Dear Bernn yes after my husband died I had really bad physical pain and anxiety, as my husband died suddenly from a heart attack whenever I got pain in my chest I thought it was going to happen to me. I have found out since this is very common. Love annie

Crazy Kate that just about sums it up . Trying to persuade myself to get up and plod on through another day . Trying to focus on how my husband lived not how he died but that is just making me miss him even more because he was a very positive , dynamic , happening sort of person . X

I know exactly what you mean Romy. My husband was on the go all the time, always busy. When that suddenly stops, you can’t help but notice the quiet. It’s a good thing to try to focus on their life rather than their death and I find I can do that sometimes now but I need to remind myself to do it and even though it’s sad it does also makes me smile. My husband had some funny mannerisms and I’m smiling now just thinking about him whilst writing this. So thank you Romy for reminding me to focus on his life rather than his death. Much love to you. X

Big hugs xxxxx

I have just been burgled, every lovely piece of jewellery Chris ever bought me including the tiny solitaire engagement ring which is all we could afford after college has gone. Any piece left through the generations has also gone. They got in through a locked bathroom window.
Chris only died in July, I’ve been a bit odd re: safety and so hv been especially careful. I am bereft.

I honestly don’t know what to say to you Bernn, except to say how sorry I am that you must suffer this catastrophic event on top of your grief. How dare they! The b*****ds! Apologies for my language but it makes me so angry. What gives anyone the right to enter somebody else’s home and take what isn’t theirs? Oh, I’m fuming. Perhaps when I’ve calmed down I may think of something more constructive to say. My heart goes out to you Bernn. Big hug. Xx

Dear Bernn . I am so sorry to hear what has happened . I am 58 too and my husband died suddenly in July of this year . We had been together since we were teenagers like you . The thought of being burgled on top of everything else that we are experiencing after losing our beloveds is just too much and for them to take your precious jewellery and make you feel unsafe in your own home is unforgivable. The only way of thinking about it is that you have suffered the worst loss already by losing Chris . You have survived that and you will survive what these people have done too . The one thing they cannot take away from you is the memory of Chris and your relationship with him . You will carry that with you in your heart and soul and nobody will ever be able to steal that from you . My mum was devastated after my dad died many years ago because his car was stolen and a magnetic saint christopher he kept on the dashboard had been taken amongst other personal things when the car was eventually recovered . It feels like a violation and makes the grief even more difficult to bear . I wish none of this had ever happened to you . Know that other people care and understand how devastated you feel . Claim from the insurance and buy yourself an eternity ring as a symbol of your continuing bond and love for Chris . I know it won’t be the same as wearing the engagement ring but you will know what the new ring stands for and it may give you comfort wearing it as a symbol of your love for and life with Chris . I feel your pain . Sending big hugs Romy xxx

What lovely, thought provoking words from Romy, much more constructive than my anger. I think it would be very fitting to buy an eternity ring Bernn, what a beautiful idea. Our love continues to grow for our husbands and a new ring would show that. Wear it with pride and with the love that is yours and Chris’s. I too feel your pain Bernn. Xx

Thank you, I am completely undone.
Forensics are here.
They’ve stolen my courtship with Chris and they’ll get sell it for nothing.
Even a little friendship ring which he bought me when we were poor, impoverished students.
I can’t stop crying, it’s really hit hard

Sending you my love and strength to get through this terrible ordeal. Xx

Thank you I appreciate you.
Today has been the hardest day, even worse than when he died.
All his eulogies mentioned his kindness, goofiness and love for me and the burglars have raped it all.
Knowing him and the care, planning and enjoyment he took over any piece he bought.
He never bragged he just presented each loving gift and it’s all gone.
I do not care about ‘things’ people are more important but this was the last I had of his connection and it’s all gone.
I’m done trying to move forward or trying to be positive.

Dear Bernn . Please don’t give up even though your heart has been broken all over again . Life can be so cruel . I don’t know what to say to comfort you . Sending you hugs . Romy xxxxx