Hi there, I have recently lost my beautiful mum to cancer, and six months before that I lost my best friend to breast cancer. They were both so young. I am absolutely broken right now. I feel exhausted, drained, and like I have no hope left. Completely and utterly devastated. Sometimes I wonder if putting the mask on at work (it’s been 3 months, and I’ve just started back at work now), contributes to the feeling of exhaustion?
I’m withdrawing from everyone around me socially, all I want to do is speak to (and hold) my mum and best friend. Does it get any easier? It feels like life is going to always be like this.
I’ve also developed a weird bobbly skin rash all over my body and face which is so unlike me, my skin is usually v clear and smooth. I haven’t eaten anything different, nor changed any washing detergent, can grief cause such a physical change? It’s red, with small bobbles, and all over my body and face.
My back is also very painful, I’m only 38 and previously fairly active. I feel like I’m breaking, both physically and mentally.
I also feel incredibly alone. Even though I know I have other beautiful friends and family around me, I have never felt more alone.
Sending everyone who needs it some love today. Thank you for listening.
So sorry for your losses, we you’ve found a really helpful place to be right now, and I hope you find comfort and support from it.
Im at 4 months since my mum passed, I think everything is exhausting at this stage, I’ve been back to work on a phased return for 4 weeks it’s mentally draining, but tbf I’ve found my grief is without work on top!
I’ve found that my back (and stomach) have been where it’s all settled, I’ve been sent physio exercises for my back which have helped sort out the pain (he advised me not to google them,beacause they’re not always the right kind, they can be too advanced)
I’m more aware of how I’m holding myself and try to relax when I realise how tense I am.
We all grieve differently, I’ve not been good at being alone, so always go out to a friends or family member. I live alone and have always enjoyed my own company but for now it’s done a Complete 180! But even though I’m with people I can still feel alone, which by all accounts is quite normal.
You’re not alone on here, I’ve read so much and gained such a lot. Keep posting or join in another thread, you will find things that resonate for you.
X
I lost my beautiful Mum in March this year and had 3 months off work and I am still suffering a great deal of fatigue. I do think it’s the trying to act normal that contributes to this feeling.
I have a really stiff neck and was getting complimentary treatments that I recieved through counselling where I got back massages and reflexology.
She said my stiff neck was due to holding all the tension in that area as apparently we all hold stress in different areas of the body.
It really helped but sadly it had to come to an end so I’m back in pain.
I’ve also always suffered with anxiety but that’s gone a lot worse since losing my mum.
It really does affect us physically as well as mentally, I find it’s an ongoing problem as you can’t help feeling sad which causes the symptoms then the symptoms make you feel worse if that makes sense?
Also you should maybe make an appointment to have the rash looked at as they say the immune system is attacked more easily during grief x
Hi @K9friend grief is so hard. Things will change for you as time passes but really you just have to take everything as it comes. After losing my Mum in January it has been a difficult year. I wanted to feel ‘normal’ but life just felt so different without my Mum so I accepted that I had to take each day as it comes. I don’t have any expectations of how to feel. Work is a distraction but when I am not there I tend to dwell on the absence of my Mum. I know that I can only keep going, moving forward and doing my best to honour her love for me and remember the memories. Take care xx