Physical symptoms of grief

I say goodnight to Ian every night and good morning every morning
We had two single beds pushed together and I have not yet changed his side of the bed cos I want it the same as that morning he went into hospital

The few days before she told me to change the bedding as we both thought she was coming home. I leave some of her clothes on the airer. But it was so difficult to remove. In so many tears as although we had separate duvets we had a double bed. Life so sucks at the moment

I know
Indeed it does
I tried to write my thoughts in a diary but I had to stop it was to painful
Everything hurts so much and I’m a different person to who I was before I’ve become anxious timid tearful and unsure without him
45 years and he is gone

I feel the same, try not to break down in front of my younger son who lives next.door.He’s furloughed til
next week so I’ve been really lucky to have him around to talk to, go for a walk, or just be.Like your daughters he’s going through his own grief and I hate to see him so sad. Of course, we can’t even have a hug, which I know would help us both. I try to go into the shower if I feel it coming on, it can just flow then. Let’s hope life will soon feel just a little bit brighter.x

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Let’s try and stay positive although it’s hard on a bad day. I find the bathroom is the best place for the tears to flow as well xx

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It is hard to stay positive when your life has been thrown down the toilet. But I know we we should try.

We should, it really can’t get any worse , it has to start going the other way doesn’t it. x

It does. Just changed the bedding. Who gets emotional over changing that. Normally we did it together for the last 22 years. Just not the same

We will never forget or enjoy life the same but there Is proof in this group that people can find a place where they can accept and enjoy their memories
At the moment I am trying not to think back too fat because it is all so raw and agonising

Hopefully that rawness will start to fade one day and we can remember with happiness and not heartbreak. People say, you’ve got your memories but I still break when I start thinking about them. We need to save them for later I thinkx


Wise words

I can’t look at the bag of my husband’s things which I brought home from the hospice. After he died. I know that sounds strange but I think it’s part of having to accept what has happened. I do understand about changing the bed clothes. We are living in a world that is completely dominated by our grief. Nothing makes sense anymore.
Does anybody here feel that they are actually going mad ? I think this is what grief can do. All rational and joined up thinking has gone !!!

I struggled with the hospital bags but they did not care and stuffed rotten bananas and other food in with her clothes. I agree about going mad. Nothing makes sense. And I don’t have children so no-one to talk to makes the day drag and nights almost impossible

Same here my friend. It was always just the two of us.
We have to take one day at a time and every day brings it’s new highs and lows. God bless

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I wanted to share my full book with you here as a pdf but it says I am not authorised. I also had a terrible grief experience when I lost my 32 year old wife to breast cancer! I was left with 2 small kids! I don’t know how to share it.! [Edited by admin]

Hello Khanye, hope this site brings you some comfort for your terrible loss, a place where we. can safely share our most painful thoughts. Would love to read your book, will
look online. And yes, Magnet I do feel I’m going mad too, must be what this level of grief does to us. How ever do people get through it? But amazingly it seems as though they do, so we
must hold onto that hope. , all of us on here. x

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Hi. Magnet. One thing is certain in all this uncertainty, and that is that you are NOT going mad or crazy. I doubt not one of us here has not felt like that at first. Your world has collapsed around you and emotions can run away with us.
Rational thinking!! Some hopes. That will come back later, but give yourself time, and try and be kind to yourself. Nothing is ‘strange’ in grief. We all do it in our own way, and we must never be upset by what others may think or say. If they have not been where you are now their words are wasted. Nothing makes any sense to you at the moment. Six months is not long in bereavement. The wounds heal slowly but they will always leave a scar. We will never forget, that’s not possible. But gradually, almost imperceptibly, the light does get brighter. I have found it so.
Take care and just allow emotions to come. Give yourself more time.

Thank you so much. I have not yet put the book out on the internet just yet except on ebay but even there I am not happy with the costs of shipping and ebay fees etc. So far I have been selling it directly to my friends and people who know me. [Edited by admin]. My number is [Edited by moderator] I hope it is okay to share contacts… but I do not know.
If there is anything I could do to help you or absolutely anyone feel better, I will.

Thank you Jonathon123.