Yeh exactly … 9 years ago … i think after covid a lot has deteriorated … they know do the government thats why theres all these adverts about one thing ot another ! They always said there would be a knock on effect after covid … because nobody could get to see a dr 
xx
Steve had 10 days from diagnosis to passing. My consolation is he was at home with me. He was my hero. 6 + years ago he resuscitated me after a bleed on the brain. We had 5 plus years as a married couple and boy did we make the most of it. But still my heart is broken. Xx:broken_heart:
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I’m surely going mad……
It’s four weeks Wednesday at 4am my partner gained her wings. I feel like I’m still in a state of shock. I just don’t want to accept that she’s gone. I don’t believe it. I just expected to be sobbing my socks off. But I’m not. Not really……
I just feel numb to it all. This can’t possibly be normal 4 weeks in….
I have even gone back to work?’!?!?
Well I say I’ve gone back to work. Today I spent 4 hours doing an e learning course that should have taken an hour. And I learnt nothing…….
I feel like I can’t sleep tonight. This time four weeks ago I was holding her hand whilst she gained her wings….:
I’m mad. That’s the only conclusion I’m come if to. I’ve finally gone stark raving mad…….
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4 weeks is no time at all yet, All the feelings you’re experiencing are completely normal.
I always thought they’d be loads of crying, and was surprised when it took time for that to come……shock and numb were definitely around first for me. Whichever way it happens for you is right for right now! Rest assured you are not going mad.
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As @Sun says above, you are not going mad, your body is allowing you to cope with it in whatever way it can. I think at some point in our relationships we all wonder how we would cope with losing our partner and imagine how it might look and feel. I was also surprised by the numbness I felt in the immediate aftermath of my wife’s passing. Although it was expected after a period of illness, the shock of her death was immense and I was running on adrenaline for several weeks - auto pilot mode, basically doing what had to be done. I also returned to work within a month. I didn’t think I woul be able to, but I am fortunate in being able to work flexibly and consider many of my colleagues as friends too, so had plenty of support round me. I think the key is to do what feels right at the time, whatever gets you through the days one at a time. There is no instruction manual for this s****y journey we find ourselves on.
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I feel I have to comment about the NHS. My husband had a heart attack on the Friday and passed away on the Monday. After that, I discovered that there was virtually no hope of him surviving, but he was given 72 hours of outstanding care. It must add to the nightmare that possibly something could have been done, but my experience of the NHS is a positive one x
@Dee123 Sorry to hear of your loss, it has been 4 weeks since my husband died suddenly, whilst I have not been sick, I have been having chest pains, and constant nausea. My GP checked me out, also did and ECG all came back normal, she said it was the way my body was dealing with the trauma, I can understand that as my heart feels like its aching 
Guessing gonna feel like this for a while
Kathy6, yes there are lots of misdiagnosed people. My husband had multiple falls, no grip, 80% muscle mass wastage, was so weak and tired he had to crawl on the floor to hold onto furniture to help himself to his feet- eventially diagnosed with MND - HE WAS TOLD TO GO TO THE GYM! And one of my colleagues said to me “if he was a woman, he would just get on with it!”. The only advice i could give anyone in a similar position would be to go and shout, shout, shout, because nobody realises when a naturally quiet person says something, it is the same as a loud person screaming, they just aren’t heard. It wouldn’t have made any difference to my beloved Richard passing away, but it could have made him more comfortable and able to access the treatment in a more timely way. I usually have nothing but praise for the NHS, but they let us down when it mattered and that is so so difficult to forgive. So don’t forget to shout, shout, shout, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Bless the quiet ones xxx
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I get exactly the same dreams. Can’t find, or can’t reach my beloved husband. Wake up so sad.
@Wifey1 . I’ve had dreams they are very disturbing aren’t they, and they leave you feeling strange all day. So very sad, sending hugs x
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