Yeh exactly … 9 years ago … i think after covid a lot has deteriorated … they know do the government thats why theres all these adverts about one thing ot another ! They always said there would be a knock on effect after covid … because nobody could get to see a dr 
xx
Steve had 10 days from diagnosis to passing. My consolation is he was at home with me. He was my hero. 6 + years ago he resuscitated me after a bleed on the brain. We had 5 plus years as a married couple and boy did we make the most of it. But still my heart is broken. Xx:broken_heart:
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I’m surely going mad……
It’s four weeks Wednesday at 4am my partner gained her wings. I feel like I’m still in a state of shock. I just don’t want to accept that she’s gone. I don’t believe it. I just expected to be sobbing my socks off. But I’m not. Not really……
I just feel numb to it all. This can’t possibly be normal 4 weeks in….
I have even gone back to work?’!?!?
Well I say I’ve gone back to work. Today I spent 4 hours doing an e learning course that should have taken an hour. And I learnt nothing…….
I feel like I can’t sleep tonight. This time four weeks ago I was holding her hand whilst she gained her wings….:
I’m mad. That’s the only conclusion I’m come if to. I’ve finally gone stark raving mad…….
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4 weeks is no time at all yet, All the feelings you’re experiencing are completely normal.
I always thought they’d be loads of crying, and was surprised when it took time for that to come……shock and numb were definitely around first for me. Whichever way it happens for you is right for right now! Rest assured you are not going mad.
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As @Sun says above, you are not going mad, your body is allowing you to cope with it in whatever way it can. I think at some point in our relationships we all wonder how we would cope with losing our partner and imagine how it might look and feel. I was also surprised by the numbness I felt in the immediate aftermath of my wife’s passing. Although it was expected after a period of illness, the shock of her death was immense and I was running on adrenaline for several weeks - auto pilot mode, basically doing what had to be done. I also returned to work within a month. I didn’t think I woul be able to, but I am fortunate in being able to work flexibly and consider many of my colleagues as friends too, so had plenty of support round me. I think the key is to do what feels right at the time, whatever gets you through the days one at a time. There is no instruction manual for this s****y journey we find ourselves on.
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