Its been 1 year 1 month and i still get the feeling in my stomach sometimes when i think of my mum the feeling you get if you were falling on a rollercoaster or some call it butterflys/ stomach doing a somersalt . Does anyone else feel this i find it hard to explain to anyone . Also still getting it after a year i do question is it normal is it just me
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Hi Marie,
It’s perfectly normal, there are no timescales on Grief!
There is a well known study by Worden, that identifies 4 stages of grief
- Phase I: To accept the reality of the loss.
- Phase II: To process the pain of grief.
- Phase III: To adjust to a world without the deceased.- New Life - New Routine especially relevant if you were a carer for your Mum.
- Phase IV: To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life - Reinventing oneself - our needs as humans to have continuous social bonds.
What is the correct order of Worden’s tasks of mourning?
There is – grief not being linear – no specific order for completion, and it is possible to move backwards and forwards between the phases. Nor does Worden posit a timeline for completion, going as far as acknowledging that it may be necessary to revisit specific phases over the course of a lifetime.
Grief is like the pendulum in a Grandfather clock and will swing from the happy moments through the ok (middle) and up to the sad moments/grief.
The importance for a Grandfather clock is that it keeps swinging to keep good time and the it’s the same for us as humans.
It’s ok to get those butterfly feelings and for your pendulum to swing into the sad sector. The important thing is that you have recognised it and been open with your feelings and asked your question 
I regularly swing into the Sad section or in Worden’s terminology revisit phase I and II.
Take care 
Simon
x
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