The move on squad have really got to me tonight. I’ve been told that after 2 years it’s time I picked up the pieces and carried on with my life. I never dropped my partner so he broke into pieces and if I had and could stick him together and have him with me again I would. We never married but talked about it. In the end he was ill for his last 10 years and I cared for him, which was what I wanted to do. We didn’t have children and all we needed was each other. I cared for him mostly on my own before COVID and after nobody came round. He was scared of being in the house on his own so the only time I got out was running to the shop while he was sleeping and just hoping I would be back before he woke up. His sisters used to say that they wouldn’t call around in case they gave him COVID or flu or whatever was going around. Sadly he caught COVID in hospital and I have always felt so guilty because I persuaded him to go in for antibiotics for a chest infection.
I’m lucky because my brother is brilliant and comes if I need anything. My partners sister said tonight that it’s time I picked up the pieces because I was only his girlfriend after I made the mistake of mentioning him to her. I think everyone wants to pretend he never existed and change the subject when I mention his name. Everyone said they would keep in touch after his funeral but if I reach out to anyone they are so busy and if I’m upset they say go out somewhere.
I actually went away for a few days but it wasn’t as good an idea as everyone who persuaded me to go thought. I felt so lonely when I was there but I think I made the mistake of telling his sister that. I suppose it’s get back to sticking my happy face mask on because people don’t want to hear what it’s really like to lose your soulmate. Especially when they have their husband/wife and family. Thank goodness for this site where people are on the same journey
So sorry for your loss. Please don’t let those who have no idea get you down. When my love of 60 years passed back in March, all of them cam out with the standard ‘time heals’.
When asked how I was, I replied not too bad. After a couple of weeks on here, reading what others were or had experienced, I decided to start telling the truth of how I was feeling when asked.
I seem to remember somebody here saying to someone who asked how were they feeling ‘my wife has effing died, how the hell do you think I feel?’
Ok, I have not been that blunt, but I tell them exactly how I am feeling when they ask. Usually it shocks them and yes, sometimes they may never ask again or disappear as a friend, but the true ones will be there for you.
As many say grief is the price we pay for love and we both have heavy debts to pay, but we will survive.
You look after yourself 
Thank you for replying and I am so sorry for your loss.
I have found that the friends I thought I had were our friends and now I am on my own they don’t keep in touch. I get told I need to make new friends but they don’t say how. I can’t walk down the street patting people on the shoulder and asking them if they will be my friend. I did start going to church but have found that the people who I thought were friends only bothered with me while I was doing things for them. Sorting out sewing or going to appointments with them. The minute I have to stop doing things they don’t answer texts or there phones.
I class people on this site as my friends but sadly I can’t invite you all for coffee.
I miss so much the chatting with my partner because we really used to put the world to right. I guess it is something I will eventually get used to. I will just rely on my online friends
Take care
Same with me. It’s almost as if they think you have a disease they can catch.
It’s not really that, it’s just they don’t really understand how difficult it is and go on with their lives.
I also class people here as friends, it’s just a shame we didn’t all live in the same village or maybe a town or city where we could meet up 
People here are great, but for me you can’t beat human contact. I and probably most here get awfully lonely. Chatting here is great, but you can’t beat the occasional hug 
‘Patting people on the shoulder and asking them if they will be my friend’
I’ll have to try that.
Have a good day and you take care
I agree we all sometimes need a hug . The best I can do is send you a virtual hug.
I think I actually live for Monday when I get to spend 2 hours at the crematorium where his urn is buried. The volunteer bus takes me. It’s not the same but I get to tell him how bad Manchester United are doing . They were the team he supported.
Patting people on the shoulder doesn’t actually work you just get some very strange looks.
Have a good day yourself
Take care
Virtual hug back to you as well 
. I like Man United as well, so you don’t have to tell me how bad they’re doing.
Jackie’s ashes are interned in the Welsh Church where we got married in 1967. I currently live 110 miles away, so have only visited once since the service on her birthday in April.
I am waiting for a stone to be made, so she only has the temporary marker at the moment.
My house is on the market, so I will be moving back home to be near her.
When it’s my turn I will join her.
How beautiful. I am Welsh and it is such a beautiful country. The music and video are lovely. My family grave is in a cemetery in Wales and all my relatives from my mum back are buried there. I’m actually going into be with my partner and half the headstone is waiting for me.
Whereabouts are you going to be? There are so many lovely places in Wales we went looking and decided on Tywyn to have a caravan. The site was quiet and more or less on the seafront.It was a good base as well for visiting other places
Take care
Where in Wales?
I’m from Newport and Jackie was from a village called Rogerstone about 3 miles away. It’s a bit bigger these days, but still nice.
The hall next to the church featured is where we first got romantically involved in 65. Got married in 67 there and sadly she was interred there on her birthday 30th April 2025, almost 60 years to the date we got together.
My lyrics to the song are all true, albeit a bit embellished in places. It was a poem I wrote for the vicar to read at the second service we had.
I hope to record it with the band when I move back.
Look after yourself
I am from near Welshpool which is Powys. I know that is a long way from Newport. My partner was from Anglesey but his dad was in the forces and ended up in Shrewsbury. I lived in Llandudno for a few years but even then in the 70s I found it very busy because I grew up in a tiny village where you knew everybody. My brother and his family still live there though and they have built so many houses it’s like a town now. I don’t think I have ever heard of Rogerstone. It sounds like where I lived. We only had a little chapel on the hill which is a house now. We used to go there every Sunday to the service and then to Sunday school. After that we went to my grandparents house for tea and evening service.
You are very talented with your music. It’s a pleasure to listen to and such a lovely tribute to your wife
Look after yourself as well
Welshpool is only about 100 miles from Newport, but it’s about a 2 hour drive because roads are not that good.
Rogerstone, where Jackie lived was about 5 miles from where I was the other side of Newport. I had no car at the time, so used to go by bus to see her. I often missed the last bus, so had to walk all the way home. It was a long walk, but well worth it to see her for a few minutes more that the 10.30 pm last bus.
It probably was like where you grew up.
She lived near the St Johns Church marked on this map and I lived to the right of the River Usk. Only one bridge back then.
Take care
My partners name was David but was always known as Dai. His family always called him Dai Bach. Apparently it means little David. He was only 67 when he died and we didn’t even meet until we were in our late thirties. Always thought we had all the time in the world to get married but it wasn’t to be. We had 25 amazing years together so I have that many memories.
I was lucky he had a car and I moved into the street up the road which is how we met in a way. I didn’t have far to walk or neither did he. I thought about trying to move back near my brother but there’s no bus service really so I would have to rely on someone to take me everywhere. I don’t drive. I’m settled here but like I think most of the people on this forum I get lonely.
Take care
Loneliness is awful.
If I don’t meet someone, if only for companionship, when I move, I know it’ll kill me. 
.
I’ve been sharing my life with someone I love for 60 years, like you have for 25.
It’s so difficult to then be alone. No one to share good or bad times; no one to cuddle; no one to take a cup of tea in bed to and so on.
Still that’s enough of being sad, here’s a song I started in lockdown and finished a month before Jackie sadly passed
BTW if you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?
Take care
Hi Mini
Its very nice that you have a brother who cares for you and is there when ever you need his help.
Regarding your partners sister.
She’s obviously one very insensitive arsehole.
Be good if you could of got some love from her
instead of shite remarks. Be best if you could avoid her like the plague.
No one whose lost the love of their life that needs to keep their name
alive ,Needs inconsiderate people in their lives.
She sounds like a right piece of work.
The only people on this planet who truly have a clue
what its like to lose the love of your life, are those in the same situation.
Others can offer words of empathy and say well meaning phrases
but they will never totally understand that in essence nothing they
say really eases the heartache and pain we carry within us at the loss.
Here’s hoping you can build friendships on here, And maybe
it will help you live as best you can.
One things for sure, at least most members have a good idea of how you feel
and can hopefully avoid saying anything hurtful.
If putting your happy face mask helps you then do it,
If not just be as is and don’t hide your inner feelings.
Well dont on here as lots of us feel shite and heart broken
so no need for any masks.
Sorry for droning on and hopefully i’ve caused no offence.
and made a little sense.
Take care
Jiayne
My name is Judith. Dai called me Jude and then he always called me to everyone (my Jude) I could never let anybody call me Jude now. A sign of how he felt about me I know.
I miss him as you say but I think I am lonely but just for him. I have cousins who have tried to get me to go on singles outings and blind dates but they annoy me. I even joined a lunch group until I found out what it was really. I guess people think I need someone so they can go back to their families and not worry about me. I think to me I had a soulmate and it would never be fair for someone to have to try to live up to that. Don’t get me wrong because how ever anyone else feels they should go ahead. Companionship and friendship when you have been with a partner for so long I totally understand people wanting that. I would be first to say how happy I am for them.
I might struggle and cry and miss him too the extent of sitting by myself at his headstone 7 days a week which does happen at times. He is all I want and as I can’t have him I will just carry on until I join him
Take care and your music and video is so good. So sad Jacky passed so soon after.
Take care
Hi Jianne.
You have made a lot of sense. Unfortunately the world is full of people who would never even try to understand.
I said to my cousin one day after she told me that I would be better off with a companion. Someone to keep me company at night. I told her to come to me when her husband dies and tell me she’s lost and lonely. I will give her the details of the nearest singles bar. The people who tell me that he would want me to find someone else I just tell them that they didn’t know him well enough to know what he would have wanted for me. I think he would just be proud that I have got through another day without actually telling someone to get lost but more explicit. His sister came today completely different and did my garden and let me talk about him. Next time I talk to her she will be like last night.
I sometimes think I have to wait until someone starts talking to see what mood they are in before I speak. Also I think people just use me as their sounding board. I have never done that I don’t think I know how.
I just come here because I can say whatever I feel and nobody minds and I can drop the mask
I am sorry for your loss as well. I hope you can find help and support on here as well I know I do
Take care
Judith. I fully understand and agree with your sentiments.
My older sister was named Judith Anne, but everyone called her Judy. Sadly she passed in Nov 2013, however she did manage to see me play in the band when we reformed 6 months earlier. Being older, she never saw us in the 60s
Singer in our band lives in Spain and he wanted me to go visit him along with 2 other band members & their wives. When I said I would be the only single person, he said he would fix me up 
I politely declined
Told him I’m not looking for that sort of relationship.
If I ever meet someone I would prefer it to be the old fashioned way.
Anyway you look after yourself
Hello John
My sister has Ann as her second name.
I agree with you that the traditional way where you could get to know someone without being rushed. I think is
I have so many people trying to find me a companion and telling me about a lonely man they know 
Like you I try to politely say no but sometimes they don’t listen because they think they know what is best for me. I have to be more severe with them and mostly not be in contact with them again .
What is your band called?
Take care
Judith
I suppose trying to fix you up are only doing what they think is best for you.
I have only ever been on one blind date, in the 60s before I met Jackie. She was a nice girl, but she didn’t set my heart going like Jackie did later. Funny enough, I still remember her first name of Letitia, so she or her name must have made an impact on me. . Traditional way is definitely the best way.
If either of us find love again, it’ll be a different kind of love to that you had with Dai and me with Jackie. It will never replace the love we both have for them.
It’ll mean we have both been lucky to have had two loves in our lives.
My band is called the Pieces of Mind. We had quite a following in the 60s, at least in South Wales and Germany, but never hit the big time.
It may not be to your taste in music, as I guess you are a lot younger, however here’s a short clip when we were featured on the Graham Norton show in 2016. I’m the bald headed blighter playing harmonica and guitar.
Be aware there is some bad language, as there always seems to be these days on TV.
Look after yourself and resist blind dates.
Wow johnr a tv star. Always liked Rhod Gilbert, we saw him live twice,always made us laugh.
