Today I picked up my husband’s ashes. He died on Feb 29th 6wks after being diagnosed with cancer but because of Covid everything has been delayed and made worse. I didn’t think it would upset me the way it has. I can’t stop crying and want to run/drive away from all this. . We were only married 3yrs and he was only 64. I feel my life has ended too as I have no one to do all the things We still had on our bucket list. It’s like I have lost him all over again.
Hi, it must have been a very painful day for you, because it just brings back the reality that he has gone and isn’t coming back. As you were only married for 3 years, you feel cheated, as you had a future ahead of you that you never got to see. Please keep posting here because you have people who want to help you in whichever way they can.
Hi it’s the worst feeling ever apart from there passing some get some calm when there home I don’t know personally I don’t xx
I’m sorry for your loss Kim I know what you mean our strong brave gentle corageous soulmates returned in a box it’s soul destroying
In my thoughts hun take of yourself as much as possible Adele x
Thank you it’s good to know you all have been through it. I don’t want it to be final. I want him back
We all do hunni want our Soulmates back im so so sorry for your loss in my thoughts take care of yourself as much as possible Adele x
So sorry for your loss, it’s been over 3years since my husband’s death the undertaker brought his ashes home to us and even though I thought I would know where to scatter them, to this day he is still upstairs in ‘his’ cupboard. .It is still very raw for you it doesn’t matter if you were married 3 years or 30 years the pain and loss is the same. I wish I could say it gets easier but you just learn to cope. When I get frustrated because he’s not around to help I go and tell him, I don’t think he’ll be going anywhere this year but hopefully we can let him go next summer. Look after yourself and take care xx
My partner passed away 9 weeks ago last week his ashes came home in a casket until we do the internment i have some set aside as will be having some jewllery and some will go with me when i go
It feels strange thats all i have left of him other than my memories i dont talk talk to them as to me thats not him as i believe he is up in heaven now but everyone deals with things different and there is no right or wrong x
Hi true words I done exactly the same as you. I don’t think of my husband in the urn. I had a ink filled ashes tattoo done and jewellery for my children. So sorry for your loss x
Thank you. I drove up to the Black Isle o my own and met our friend there. We got into kayaks (1st time for me, scary) and we went out to sea a bit before I scattered them and put the wreath which was on his coffin out too. It was just as well our friend had tied a rope on my kayak as I could never have got back to shore. I was hysterical. I didn’t think it would affect me but it seemed so final. We got back to shore and I fell in the water trying to get out to quickly. There were 2 claps of thunder. I think I cried for nearly 2hrs. The next day my daughter was on Facebook and she said randomly a post had come up that said :- During the Victorian era, people believed that a clap of thunder after a burial meant the spirit of the deceased had reached heaven. I do hope so .
Aww tears in my eyes xx
I was surprised how heavy his ashes are. I thought about how little the soul weighs.
My Che has been gone 14 months. We had 40 years together. I opened the box when I received it a few months back. I looked at what was inside, closed it and put it on the shelf. It has been sitting there surrounded by his carvings and his picture. Yesterday I opened it.
He was a hunter, and said to sprinkle his ashes on a deer trail. I opened the box and placed 2 small portions into bags. These are going to his best friend and hunting partner to spread in some of their old hunting spots in Ontario (Canada) 4,000km east of here (British Columbia Canada). I fretted about how much to give him - silly because there are a lot. I’ve decided to dole them out. We hunted and fished in many places in this beautiful province, as well as others. I would like to visit as many as possible and scatter some ashes at each. I put some into a small jar and put it in my car. Now I am prepared to find that first trail. I put some into two small containers to keep for myself. Then I closed the box and put it back on the shelf until I need to open it again.
I tell this so calmly (tears pouring down my cheeks). I had been contemplating the above actions for the last month, and finally just did it. I was remarkably calm and controlled until I was finished. I could not bear to wash the little bit of his dust off my fingers so I rubbed it into my skin. And that action in some way brought me a small measure of solace…