Since the sudden, unexpected death of my husband, I feel myself increasingly anxious about dealing with my estate on the event of my death. My husband was younger than me and I didn’t expect to outlive him or have to arrange my own funeral and legal affairs. I don’t want to appoint an executor from my family or friends and would prefer this to be done by a third party. Does anyone have any similar experience or advice of how to arrange this?
Hello @MissingEsCanar,
I’m part of the Online Community team, and I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the sudden death of your husband. I can only imagine how difficult this time must be for you, and I want you to know that many of our community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one, so they will understand some of what you are going through.
It’s completely understandable to have concerns about your estate and legal affairs after the death of a partner. While each experience is unique, I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support and advice. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful:
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Ben
Hi, I also lost my partner who was 9 years younger than me and just like you I thought that I’d have gone first so I know exactly how you feel. I don’t know how far you have gone with you plans but I’m sure that you can make a solicitor your executor.
I’m lucky enough to have a brother who is going to act as my executor, but I’ve already paid for a plot next to my partner so that helped me cope with some of the grief and maybe if you can do the same it will help you also.
Dear Marchon,
Many thanks for your reply. I have some family and friends I could request as executors but I would rather keep the whole process simple and less personal. I always expected my husband would take care of the details which would have been perfect.
Well if you’re feeling anxious about it try and speak to a solicitor or how about Citizens Advice in the first instance just to set your mind at rest? It’s such a stressful time so try and take things step by step and most importantly leave time for You.
If you need to vent just do it on here - we are all in the same boat and know to a lesser or greater extent exactly what you are going through. Just remember that you are not alone. Best wishes.