So the last two weeks I have been good for nothing, just slobbing around feeling sad and no motivation.
Yesterday I actually got sick of myself !!
So I’ve planned some happiness with the kids.
My husband throughout his illness said having something to look forward too kept him going, especially through chemo when you live from 3 monthly bad news reviews .
He was a master at little trips of happiness and ‘normality’, allowing us to make great memories as a family.
So with him in mind and I actually heard him say ‘come on ‘ I have booked two small trips, in this country. One to see the Christmas light trail somewhere new (we do this every year, it’s a tradition)and one to the theatre.
I’m proud of myself although my confidence is a little wobbly today (M would plan everything, where to eat, where to visit etc).
Now the three of us have something to look forward to before dreaded Christmas. Also a change of scenery from the house.
I must be honest, it feels nice to have something to look forward to in the midst of such sadness.
Wish me luck!! 
Well done! That’s brave. We used to do the Christmas markets, too . Hope you enjoy the trips.
Yes wish you luck.
Thanks for sharing let us know how you got on. What theatre trip is it?
I am m not sure I look forward to everything because of f anxiety but some things I do.
Anxiety is my issue. I am trying to overcome it because it sabotages my best intentions.
I’ve booked a 10 day holiday to Lanzarote’! I call it a holiday but it’s more a walk down memory lane as that was where we both had our last holiday together! I’m feeling nervous now as I’m flying on Tuesday. I feel guilty for going on holiday without her!
Im hoping it’ll bring some more grief out but at the same time I can accept that it’s okay to carry on. She’ll be with me…. I’m a believer that something exists after death! (It comforts me…)
Just feels wrong going away….
@DerekG have a wonderful time in Lanzarote , I hope memory lane brings happiness to you not just sadness.
I bet your loved one would be overjoyed your going away, and I’m sure she’ll be with you .
We have to live as well as grieve , although it can be tough I’m determined to try, M would be furious if I didn’t
Well done you . Good luck for Tuesday and your trip xx
@Enorac
We’re off to see Moulin Rouge, very excited.
My favourite and my daughter loves the theatre. It’s only 1 night next year but I’m pleased to be able to look forward to it.
I can sympathise with anxiety, my daughter suffered terribly when M first got diagnosed. Counselling saved her for sure, it’s still there but she can manage it far more now.
DerekG
I think you are brave to go. All the scary things like getting through airport and lots of journey hoops
I went to Lanzarote 20 years ago and journey challenging.
I get even more in a state than I did then.
My son said he would go with me then he back tracks and goes away with his wife and in-laws again because I can’t do booking or make decisions I til last minute as I never know if well enough.
Yes know can technically cancel and not lose money if you get COVID. But I feel upset and let down