please help

Please can someone help me cope without my Dad, how do people do it?

Hi joulie94
I dont think there is an answer to what you are asking.
I lost my mum in june to a sudden brain haemorrhage. She appeared to get fit and healthy and it was a complete and utter shock.
We expected another 20 years with her.
I am just surviving each day. I am working and looking after my daughter and the house.
We still have to eat and there are bills to be paid and housework to be done.
I am permanently sad from morning till night.its just a case of putting one foot in front of the other.
What other choice is there?.
Cheryl x

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Loulie, I lost my Mum unexpectedly 5 months ago and my Dad coming up to twenty years ago.
All I can say is that over a large period of time it gets easier.
We will always miss them, but it should eventually feel less raw.
Take care.

Hi Loulie
It’s hard, it hurts but it’s not impossible. That’s what I keep telling myself. My Dad died 49 weeks ago my mum 15 weeks ago. Today is a bad day, yesterday was a bad day, but I have good days and that’s what I’m aiming for tomorrow. I find solace in a few things… my garden, crafting and some wine. Life is just so completely and utterly crap sometimes, now is one of those times. But, my parents lived without theirs and still smiled, laughed and had fun, they never forgot their parents and I won’t ever forget mine. I’ve been told it gets easier, and I agree that the good days have been good. Find something you can do to bring you peace, cry, shout, break stuff, eat well, exercise and remember. We still live and although I’m never going to recover I’m determined to have some joy and bring some joy just like they did.

Today is a bad day, here’s hoping tomorrow is a good one, but if it’s not I’m not loosing hope that there will be one soon.

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What a lovely response you have written. My mum died suddenly 46 weeks ago and most days are still very hard. But like you I also find comfort in gardening and wine…in that order!
I’m hoping eventually for better times. Like you said our parents lived with out their parents and they got through. We will too.
Cheryl x


Hello loulie.94

I’m so sorry to hear about you unable to cope with the loss of your dad. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

Take care,

Online Community team

Hi. loulie There is no set way to cope with grief. Everyone will deal with it in their own way. It’s so important to let emotions come as they will, and try not to fight or struggle with them… Grieving is a process. It’s a natural occurrence. Emotions are natures way of helping relieve stress. Crying and expressing emotion can only be good. Provided it does not become a means of losing contact with everyday life.
We do cope. For some it’s very hard and difficult. Some seem to able to cope better than others. It depends so much on our attitude and circumstances. There are no rules or set ways.
Allow you emotions to come. Give yourself permission to do what you want to do. Have you any close friends who understand? If you need help then bereavement counselling can often give you the confidence to move on.
Take care but above all be kind to yourself. Blessings. John.

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someone once said: just do the next right thing.

after my father died, I expected nothing from myself. I just operated like a robot. I did only the essential. I had to care for my mom, and sometimes I resented I had no time to properly grieve. but time went on, and I survived. when my mother died, I grieved on my own terms. I honored what I needed, and to hell with everyone else.