Can anyone on here please reassure me my feelings are normal I’m so confused. My beautiful daughter who is only 28 yrs old has lost her partner in a horrific freak accident whilst she was on holiday, he was in this country at the time and she was on a holiday of a lifetime visiting her best friend.
They were together for 5 years and were truly the picture of happiness and contentment.
We are a close family and he was a very much loved part of it ,he was a beautiful soul inside and out. I always felt so happy spending time with them there was never any akwardness just lots of fun and laughter.
There is nothing more wonderful as a mother to see their child so content and happy beyond measure.
Only 5 weeks ago she called me hysterical on her holiday visiting her friend to say that he had been found dead .
That call will never leave me I cried all night I’ve cried so many tears for everything she has lost and for what he never deserved .
She has returned to this country and is now living with myself and her stepfather whilst she is signed off sick.
There are no words to describe how difficult it is to watch your child suffer , She is an extremely vivacious girl who loves life and all its adventures. Collecting her from the airport and seeing an empty shell of what is my girl has become is so cruel beyond measure .
I’ve spent days talking and listening to her because I need to get her through this she is so young to be going through this much pain.
Here is the thing I feel as if I’m grieving alongside her we all loved him so much he was so lovable . I’ve cried so much I try not to in front of her but sometimes it’s just so difficult not too .
I cannot sleep at night I lie awake worrying about her and thinking of how he died picturing it in my head and feel so upset about how cruel and unfair life is.
I am awake for hours I wake up in a total panic every night with adrenaline and fear running through my body . I want to scream at how unjust this is for them both . I constantly have a sick feeling in my stomach and cannot concentrate on much.
The coronavirus has robbed her and us of saying our final farewell . I’m trying to cope with this new world we live in and my poor grieving daughter . What can I do how can I be there for her when I feel in turmoil inside myself.
I lost a baby many years ago when I was 8 months pregnant so have an understanding of grief though I know we all have our own journey with it .
What is wrong with me please tell me these feelings are completely normal I feel as if I’m in so much pain alongside her .
I’m worried my reaction is over the top as silly as this may sound…
I’m 28 years old as well I lost my boyfriend in June 2018 in a plane accident it was horrific as well it is extremely unfair and unjust and your daughter will feel that her entire life. She is lucky to have you as her support and listening to her but she will always need him. She probably will never get that bond she shared with him with anyone else and never be the same and that’s okay I was full of life bubbly and have lost that spark please introduce her to this forum so she can read other peoples stories and know she is not alone. I feel her pain I truly do.
My boyfriend was the most caring, loving, humorous, sensitive human, he was life! all the positive attributes in a dictionary i mean all that was all him. There arent enough to describe him. I miss him dearly. I can understand what your daughter is going through
Chandi I am so sorry to hear of your loss I cannot imagine what you have been through and are still going through .
I have introduced my daughter to this forum but not many people responded to her plight. I belive this may be due to how young she is and her circumstances though I may be wrong.
I don’t know how to get her through this but will always be by her side.
How are you dealing with your loss , what have you found to be helpful if anything. You too are very young to have suffered such an awful tradegy Xx
I am so sorry for both you and your daughter but please age of your daughter doesn’t make any difference, grief when we lose a special person in our life is the thing not the age. I am afraid that all of the symptoms you describe are from losing the special person and knowing that we will never see them again on this earth. That lose is so very personal and the hurt feelings we have is because of the love we had/have for them, it’s to hard to bear at times. They say it’s the price we pay for loving someone but for me it’s a very high price. Not having that final farewell is horrendous, I do know they are trying to come up with other ideas but it’s poor consolation. Please tell your daughter just to look for other posts on here and I am sure she will get some benefit from reading how others have coped. Time is an healer but that love will never go away because that person we loved will always be part of us. Yes it hurts and makes your insides feel totally empty and your brain into mush. Days seem like weeks and nights even longer, they say it makes us stronger, I don’t know but I do know it’s one hell of a price for love.
Please take care of yourself and your daughter because this virus is not good.
Blessings to both of you. S
Thank you im sorry nothing helps only time i would say im better than where i was it doesnt mean the grief, pain, loss and all the other feelings that come with it are gone they are constantly there. Its sad we have to lose our partners so young we would have been at a much better place in accepting if we had more time with them.