Plus exhaustion

Been 12 weeks now and since losing Jeff, my partner for 19 years … miss him so much …

Have read the 5 or 7 stages of grief, but not one mentions ‘exhaustion’ or does that come with the ‘depression’?

Honestly, don’t feel particularly depressed, other than missing Jeff so much and know ‘no-one’ can ever take his place and ‘so lucky’ to have him & his love. I don’t have much immediate support and what I do have … ‘have to ask for’, if that makes sense! Doing ok though, done lots of 1st times like cutting small lawn, recycling, rubbish, put my car though car wash today! Jeff always washed cars!!! And just stuff.

Will be in bed for 6.30-7.00pm again this evening with radio 4x & ‘whodunnits’, and sleep well I hope. Usually wake 6.30 or little before.

So, why so exhausted? And why not mentioned in the stages?

But, to you lovely people …. newly ‘berieved’ and berieved prior to me … I feel the pain, anguish, loneliness and complete ‘hole’ … take care & loads hugs :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Its crazy the tiredness is what come with grieve…my husband passedvsway 7 months ago and the tiredness is mad i go to bed about 6pm…but i love my bed the closeness to him.the security just like you so tired take care hope u sleep well


The psychology of losing a partner is an enormous stress on your body and it’s your body’s way of trying to cope.

“Broken heart syndrome” or stress-induced cardiomyopathy is a very real thing and manifests from the psychological stress of extreme trauma


This is such a good question - and reassuring to hear it’s not just me.

It’s been four months for me, and I’m absolutely exhausted. Can easily sleep for 12 hours or more, and when I’m awake I’m still fatigued.

I’m guessing it’s something to do with the amount of emotional processing we’re doing. Our systems are under a huge amount of stress, so it’s not surprising that we need more rest than usual.

I’m trying to listen to what my body needs and not push myself to do anything that doesn’t feel right for me in the moment, but it’s hard.

Thank you for raising this topic :pray:

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Grief is utterly exhausting and debilitating.
I’m totally exhausted all the time .
19 months for me.
I work full time…but it’s not that this that exhausts me, that makes me tired and weary.
Grief is different, and the tiredness it creates is EXHAUSTING.
I cared full time for my poorly husband for almost 6 years , while working full time. I never had a moment when I wasn’t having to do something. Including through the night, when I had to set an alarm every two hours, to check on my husband.
Yes, I was tired then, but nothing like now, and yet I feel more exhausted than ever, all the time, and I’m 19 months in. the only way to explain it is grief . It’s all consuming, there all the time, what ever we are doing. We can never escape it, not even for a moment.
That’s why it’s so exhausting.

Sorry for the rambling… Was really just letting my thoughts and feelings tip out of my muddled head.

The other thing that grief does… Gives you lots of confusion, forgetfulness and brain fog.

We all have our own unique grief journeys, but we share many emotions and feelings. And that is comforting.

Love, hugs and strength to you all