My Dad gave me very specific instructions before he died about his material possessions: what to keep, what to charity and what to sell. As his only child I was power of attorney and then when he passed I was executor and sole beneficiary. I have respected his wishes about his things although a lot was left to my discretion. So much of his stuff has gone to charity which I think is right. However I do sometimes feel like I’m giving his life away. There are certain things that I know he treasured that I have no use or space for so I have tried to give them a new home. I think he would understand, in fact he would regularly say to me “It’s just stuff darling.” But occasionally, it hits me and I feel a bit bad about it, like I’m wiping him away. On the other hand I don’t really like to see his things in my home because I automatically go “why is Dad’s stuff here?” And then I remember. I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this?
I like having things that were my dad’s. I still have his ornaments and Greek statues and he has been dead 30 years now. I got rid of all his jazz immediately as I hated it. I still have his old garden pots. I kept his writing and I have re read it lots of times. All his clothes went. My late husband got rid of them. My mother turfed them out immediately. I took masses to a charity shop. I found it upsetting seeing stuff he made on a market stall.
I found it upsetting my mother gave my brother the chess set he made because it won’t stay in the family as he had no children like I did and grandchildren.
Yes it is difficult isn’t it. Perhaps it is to do with the memories connected?
He was right when he said “It’s just stuff darling.” but I understand the guilt and conflicting emotions. Also, it’s great that his things can be reloved and still be used. You can never wipe away his memory. Even if you gave away absolutely everything. You’ll always remember him and love him. x
@Octopus11 Thank you…I think that is my view also but as you say the conflicting emotions confuse things sometimes. I remember looking at all his books and it was like all his interests, passions and hobbies laid out in front of me. It was like the books were a representation of him although I know/knew they weren’t actually him. A very strange feeling
It is just stuff but be careful not to get rid of things and then regret it, if you are unsure you need to wait for a while before you do anything. Once something has gone it has gone.