Try not to make any irreversible decisions in the first year, like moving house or getting rid of stuff. Not always possible, but if you do have the choice it’s better to wait until you are ready.
Xx
Well done for not forgetting to pay your bills , that was Gras job and he knew exactly what date and how much was coming out.
I have to write them down and still forget to look.hugs Jo xxx
Guess what. I have a spreadsheet for the house accounts and bank account and credit card. But not on for people who can’t manage spreadsheets. Once a project manager always a project manager. Norman was also an IT project manager. Unusually he was more at the business system level and I was the techie programmer. Used to carry a screwdriver around to fix printers and re able system set ups.
1 Like
I carry a nail file and a bottle of tippex for the same purpose, plus for many other reasons.
So far, so good!
Xx
1 Like
Wow you are so clever I wouldn’t have aclue where to start, it takes me all the time to put the computer on and do facebook and going online banking. Hugs jo xxx
Not clever I always say. Programmers have a weirdly wired brain. We think like computers. If I am so clever why can’t I cook? I was also a dreadful driver.
I will teach you how to cook you teach me computers lol. I cant drive at all I can only drive people lol . Xxx
That will be a challenge. I believe we are both housebound. You in Hull and me down by Yeovil. Never been to Hull though went to lots of places on business. Before sat nav spent 2 hours driving round and round Sheffield trying to find a hotel. Navigation not a strong suit either.
You could have apoint there, maybe we need zoom or something lol.
Omg dont rely on me for directions I could get lost in my own street lol. Hugs jo xxc
I am not pretending to be an expert on losing a spouse, but this isn’t my first rodeo, as they say, and I did learn a few lessons the first time.
I joined an online chat room where I became friends with a large group of widowed people and many of them are still friends whom I meet regularly. I met my second husband through that group. I watched how he grieved his first wife and he watched me, and we both continued to acknowledge our former partners throughout our own marriage. We also saw our friends move forward in their own ways. Because of this I know how my husband would expect me to cope without him.
I know that it is possible to climb out of the Grief Swamp.
Don’t let people dictate how you should behave. If you don’t want to go out with couples or go on that holiday, don’t force yourself.
If you want to laugh, do so. Being terminally miserable is not a testament of your continuing love. Sod anyone who thinks it is inappropriate to find some joy in the midst of pain.
I had a friend who was not widowed, she visited me constantly when my first husband died. Suddenly she disappeared, I rang her a few times but there was no reply. One day, six months later, she did ring me accidentally. She was very embarrassed when I picked up, explaining that she stopped talking to me because she couldn’t handle my pain and misery anymore, because it was dragging her down.
At the time I was hurt and angry, and I have not heard from her since. But actually she did me a huge favour. This time I will not be so miserable that people turn away.
If people are disconcerted or offended by my ‘inappropriate’ cheerfulness, well, they can jog on.
This is my grief and I will handle it how I choose, as we all must.
Onwards and upwards. Xx
1 Like
I understand that too Willow as you know this is also my second time round, and its hard but like yourself I wouldn’t have mussed out on the love we shared for almost 20 years.
And I agree we all grief differently but if we find joy then i say take it. And bugger what anyone else thinks. Hugs Jo xxc
Well how can you reactivate it
Suggest talking to the help desk of your e mail provider. Thats what I did when it stopped sending.