Given that we are all at different points in “The Swamp”, it might be good to share any thoughts on what is actually helpful, apart from this site, which has been a lifeline to many of us.
I am thinking of practical things.
The Sat-nav. It has given me the confidence to drive to places I do not know very well.
An air fryer. Quick and easy to make meals with not much washing up.
YouTube. It has shown me how to do all kinds of jobs that I was clueless about, from setting heating controls to emptying the vacuum cleaner.
Asking if companies/banks have a ‘Bereavement Team’. They may not have all the answers, but they are not fazed when you start to snivel.
Explaining to companies in advance of the situation you are in, and asking for advice where necessary. I didn’t know what to do if the house alarm went off, how to re-set the heating after a power outage, where the water meter and stop cock are, etc. All of them were helpful, if they couldn’t talk me through it on the phone, they sent someone round.
I am sure other people will have different tips. Perhaps we can share them. It is a difficult road we travel, any practical suggestions might help other people struggling with the same problems.
I saw some recommendations for delivered meals, the fact that ISAs can be transferred, etc.
Make sure you shop around for your house and car insurance.
I so struggled with this as it was due for renewal just after my husband died and I’d never done it before and had major anxiety about it. But I got a much better deal.
And tell your car insurance folk if you get points on your license.
I got 3 points for speeding 3 years ago, but my husband never told them ( I wouldn’t have thought to do that either) so when it all changed into my name they checked my license and then whacked another great price on top as I hadn’t told them !!!
And don’t presume everything is a scam.
I got an email from my car insurance folk about a claim for an accident and i thought it was a scam but it wasn’t. Apparently someone gave my vehicle as having run into theirs somewhere south of Manchester. I was in Dundee !!
Batch cooking and freezing in resusable containers.
Using Google to ask anything
Going to information centres to collect leaflets for fliers of things to do
Unblocking sink with long knitting needles
Unlocking loo with a wire coat hanger and plumger
People want to do something for you, and maybe are sort of pleased when you do ask for help. I was having a really bad day the other day, phoned a friend and asked for a cuppa and shoulder. It was given readily.
And although maybe it’s bad to say, but tears occasionally work if people or companies are being awkward.
Its not always easy asking for help, especially doctors etc I find them very matter of fact.I do try and do most things myself. But I have rang my brother in law a few times for heavy stuff. Hugs Jo xxx
Don’t delete partners e mail or cancel phone immediately. You can miss some vital contacts particularly renewals. My husband told me to keep them for a year to catch everything. Make sure you do something in their e mail or else it may be deleted if inactive fir too long.
For anyone having to clear the house/garage, theres a charity called Tools with a Mission who collect and repurpose a large variety of tools, including sewing machines and some laptops and send them to Africa to help people make a living from them. Heres a link to their site listing what items they accept: https://www.twam.uk/donatetools
We just contacted them and a local volunteer came and collected them.
Great tip. It’s easy to find charity shops to take clothes, devices and sports equipment, etc. but tools are more difficult to get rid of.it is especially good if they will collect heavy items.
Thanks xx
You Tube is a must.
Make sure to test your smoke and carbon monoxide alarms every so often. And keep a plentiful supply of plasters, bandages and dressings in stock for DIY Jobs. With chocolate.
Oh yes. I left part of my thumb in a garden umbrella at the weekend. I have used a packet of dressings since.
Maybe a swear box for such accidents. I would be able to go away for the weekend already.
I had no chocolate. But I had brownies! Xx
I send emails to myself as reminders of what i need to do., especially when i am in bed, i can sleep better as i am not worrying about forgetting sometbing that i need to do. My memory is diabolically bad now so it helps.
Yes, I find writing things down is helpful. Lists of things to do. Journalling, replies to emails, even if I don’t send them immediately.
It seems to get things straight in my mind.
Xx
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Brain fog is certainly very real. Working in IT for all these years you would think I could use the app to pay in a cheque. Got one soon after Norman died. Took me 2 hours and a call to the helpline to bank it due to brain fog. Even 15 months on I still suffer from it occasionally.
Morning.
With being stuck at home only way I remember what day it is I send the day to Norman’s e mail everyday to keep it active. I probably should stop paying bills at 6 a.m. but so far haven’t made any mistakes except in early days when our annuities were cancelled. Cancelled in permitted cancellation period. Taken out just as Norman became ill and was going to be better off as a singles person. Had to pay back what I had received within cancellation period. Overpaid by £2000. Obviously got it back but took a few weeks. Not first thing on my mind when given terminal diagnosis but financial advisor went into overdrive. A personal long time friend not just my advisor. He got me a much better deal but just glad I didn’t have to deal with it.
