PRAY FOR ME

Coping with bereavement
1

I don’t know what to do! I told my sister about the day my husband died. I tried to get him out of bed to take him to the hospital but I couldn’t get him out and he couldn’t get up on his own.

Ok, let me start here… My husband was a Dialysis patient and the port on his arm that was not being used began to bleed one day. The nurses at the Dialysis center sent him to the hospital but he didn’t go he came home. We called his doctor and I took him there but it had stopped bleeding and the doctor told him he didn’t do any surgery on that arm. So they gave us bandages and sent us home. My husband went to his next Dialysis session and came home bleeding again. He called me from outside our home and asked me to help him in the house. I did that and sat him on the sofa in the living room and then an hour later helped him to bed, where he stayed until the day I called the ambulance to help me get him to the hospital for help.

The Ambulance didn’t leave our home once he was inside, it sat there for over 15 mins and I knocked on the door and asked what was wrong. One of the paramedics told me they were waiting on someone to come get the truck he drove. And, they said he was ok. I went back in the house and when I came out again the ambulance was gone.

MY PROBLEM:

My sister told me that since the ambulance didn’t leave right away with sirens blasted…my husband was already gone and they didn’t tell me cause they didn’t want to have to deal with me too. For me if my husband was already gone. IT WAS MY FAULT!! I AM SOOOOOO DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW! I CAN’T STOP CRYING AND BLAMING MYSELF!

I am upset with the nurses at the dialysis center he went to because they knew his arm had started bleeding and they never checked it and I say that because I was the one to change his bandages and check the area where it was bleeding. I feel that if they had checked it them being nurses would have caught it and he would be here now,

Is it true that if an ambulance doesn’t leave right away and they leave without sound. Is the person dead already or so far gone they don’t need to turn on the sirens.
I been crying since he passed but I can’t stop thinking that it was my
fault for not forcing to go to the hospital sooner.

Thanks for allowing me to post this. If any are praying people, please pray for me.

I AM MISERABLE!!!

1 Like
2

I am sure your sister has got that wrong. I am sure you have nothing to feel guilty for. Feeling guilty is all part of the grieving process - and hopefully it will pass in time.
I will pray for you. Think of all your happy memories - I am sure they outweigh the guilty feelings you have right now.
I too have experienced those horrible guilty feelings but thankfully they are beginning to pass and, like you, I am sure I had nothing to feel guilty for. I always did what I thought best at the time.
I am thinking of you.

1 Like
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Thank you for your kinds words. I will do my best to continue to remember the good times we had, but sometimes remembering those times makes me sad too because I know we will never be able to do them again.

Hugs and many many Thanks!

4

So sorry for your loss! We always feel guilty, no matter what happens, it’s part of the grief and I struggle with it too. I’m not sure how it works with the ambulance, but I really don’t think no sirens mean that, only that it isn’t quite as urgent as it would be with sirens. And I can’t imagine the paramedics would lie to you just because they didn’t want to deal with you too, that goes against their whole purpose. :heart:

5

Are you in touch with the bereavement team at the hospital? Speak to them, and ask what ward he was admitted to, and ask where he was when he passed away.

6

so often, a death is unexpected, gets messed up somehow, people don’t do as needed, it is a crisis situation. I went through this. If only, etc. and the truth is: death and dying are miserable, fraught affairs. the only way someone is negligent is if they didn’t care enough to pay attention. if you are not an MD, take it easy on yourself.