I have a daughter in germany ,who is currently in a hospice ,at end of life ,im finding it hard to cope with ,like im grieving already ,if anyone has similiar experiences would be grateful for any advise thanks richard
I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter, Richard.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.
- Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
- Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.
I hope you find the community a good source of support to you.
Take good care - you are not alone.
Seaneen
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter Richard, it resonated with me as I am in a similar situation. It must be so difficult for you as she is in Germany, do you get to see her much? My daughter has been living so bravely with cancer for 5 years, but still well enough to just attend the hospice for treatments. I know just what you mean about the anticipatory grief but I try not to think of the end, just try to get through each day. I have recently had a few counselling sessions perhaps you could try that.
Last year my son died suddenly which was a devastating shock, so I now have to live on, potentially without my two beloved children. Do come and talk on here, it does help to be with others who know how you feel.
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I went over to germany for few days ,she was in palliative care in hospital, on the day i returned my daughter was moved to a hospice …i keep in touch via her mother and sister in law ,i feel i should be there ,but work i had to return ,i feel guilty…my daughter has had 5 tumours removed ,since 2023 i was only told about her couple months ago ,as contact was lost i not had lot time to take it all in, thanks for reply sorry about what you been through
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So sorry Richard it must be so difficult with you having to work. How are you at the moment, have you thought about trying counselling? I did recently have six sessions with the NHS, didn’t have a lot of faith in it but think it has helped a little. So lucky to have had a counsellor who had also lost a child to sudden death. Recently read a book about grief and a phrase has stuck in my mind. “There are three stages of grief, the beginning, the middle and the rest of your life”. We do learn to cope though, still grieving but learning to live with it. Will you be able to visit your daughter again, I hope your employer would be sensitive to your situation?