Hi everyone, New here but have seen some conversations and it seems a kind place. I lost my mum to dementia during lockdown. She had suffered for 7 years and was cared for at home by my dad. He thought his care was the best for her but to be honest it made both there life’s more difficult. My dad is a very stubborn person and at 92 he still is fully functioning mentally. His health went downhill in November and to be honest when I visited him in hospital I thought he wouldn’t make Christmas. However he is now home and very frail. He has carers and my brother who lives with him ( an ostrich to be honest) I have been in a very difficult place mentally since November. He was phones each night with complaints and I have to listen. I have suffered spells of anxiety and depression in the past revolving around worrying about the future. I feel guilty that I can’t listen to it, very angry that I should feel something other than depression when he phones. I live extremely far away and have had him stay with me months at a time and I visit regularly. It has left me feeling suicidal and I am on medication to try and help. My husband knows how I’m feeling and some close friends but I just feel completely numb and guilty. Is there anyone been in this situation? Also my oldest brother, who was a very difficult person, died in October.
Hello @Paula12,
Thank you for bravely starting this thread. I’m sorry for the loss of your mum and brother. That in itself is so much to cope with. You sound like someone who is very caring and is trying their best in a really difficult situation. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by these things. You matter too and deserve care and support.
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts but as you’ve mentioned feeling suicidal, I wanted to share some resources with you. I want to reassure you that you’re never alone - there’s always someone out there to support you.
If you feel like you’re in crisis and need some extra support, I would encourage you to reach out to one of these organisations below who can help you stay safe.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.
We also offer free counselling if you feel some one-to-one support might help. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
Carers UK also have a telephone helpline which is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm (excluding Bank Holidays) or you can contact them by email (advice@carersuk.org)
Please know that the community is always here for you too. I hope you will keep reaching out.
Take lots of care,
Seaneen
hi,
I’m so sorry to hear this! but seems like your dad is fighting on and he’s a fighter! I know where the anxiety and depression comes because I’m on tablets for that reason - I got diagnosed with anxiety&depression when i was 16 i’m now 25. I’m not sure on what I could say but I do hope this helps - you are not alone, and its good you are reaching out. I’m always worrying about the future - my family calls me I’m a worrier and that I shouldnt worry about the what ifs! but its very hard isnt it? I lost all my friends when my main supporter died which was my grandadi - he was like a dad to me and because they never experienced it they werent sure what I needed. so I think jsut keep doing what your doing with your partner and friends, you need to let them in and sometimes it will help! I’m sorry if I’m rabbeting on a lot! your brother will be so proud of you. I hope this makes sense! you are not alone! I’m here if you need to talk!
Oh Peter love to you, The people around me would never know where I’m at. Thank you for reaching out. Love and kindness to you Xxx
yeah its hard for them and for you, my friends didnt really understand it and my friends that i have now because theyve experienced grief, they sometimes give out advice but it still isnt the same really is it? unless its horrible, but sometimes its easier for people around us to know what we go through when they experience it! you too! like I said, you are not alone!xxx and its all good dont worry about it! x
Sorry I got the name wrong. It’s me not you xx