Pregnant and lost my partner

On Thursday night, my partner went into cardiac arrest, I carried out cpr until paramedics arrived. In a&e he was worked on for 2 hours before they decided there was nothing more they can do, he was just 36. He had an undiagnosed blood clot on his lung, he went to a&e on Monday and was sent away saying they would send him for an mri in 2 weeks, I’m beyond angry, his passing could of been so easily preventable.
I’m 14 weeks pregnant with his child, I feel like I can’t carry on. How on earth am I going to go to every appointment without him, how can I attend scans without him, how can I give birth to our child without him by my side. How can I bring our child up without his support, guidance and love.

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Oh , how horrible for you, my heart is hurting for you. Words are not enough from any of us on this site but I know everyone will be sending you love, hugs and blessings. I do hope you have family and friends to support you over the coming months. Sending you strength to get through. S xxx

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The failings of doctors in these cases makes my blood boil. My husband died from pancreatic cancer 3 years ago. He was only stage 3 but we were told it was too near a main artery to operate. He was offered chemo and it almost killed him but no one seemed concerned with his appalling weight loss and dreadful diarrhoea. Eventually he was admitted to hospital to a ward that did not specialise in his cancer. None of the nurses or doctors could answer questions and there was a catalogue of errors concerning his treatment. He was given a Nanno knife operation when he was at rock bottom and eventually developed sepsis which I was not told about. The hospital was filthy. No precautions were taken for sepsis. I felt abandoned. He died I feel unnecessarily. I have so many questions now but I have been unable to deal with it all after he died. I know how angry you must feel. If only these so called compassionate people would sit down and explain things clearly instead of contradicting each other.
I lost my life too. They just carry on with theirs. My husband’s cancer had not spread in 16 months and was a tiny tumour and he was not suffering at all until they started with their so called “treatment” then it was downhill all the way. But hindsight is a difficult thing.
I am so so sorry for your loss and hope over time you will begin to accept it as I have.


My husband died suddenly- he was 50. We still don’t know why. I can relate to the shock and trauma of the suddenness of your loss. On top of this you have to deal with a pregnancy and birth without him - it’s so terrible when your world comes crashing down and my heart goes out to you. Do you have family support? Or good friends who will rally round? Take all the support that you can. Talk to your GP and remember you can sign up for counselling here or with Cruse. Ultimately, you have part of your beloved growing within you and that is more precious and personal than anything else he could have left for you. Take it one breath at a time to begin with then you will manage a day at a time. It is horrible and heartbreaking and something we didn’t want or ask for and have no control over. It can be amazing where mothers get their strength from - but we do. I hope that you begin to believe that you can do it and gather people you trust around you to support you. Take care

Dear @Nyla,

In the past year I have read a few stories on this site, similar to yours, from women who lost their partners during pregnancy and who wrote about their feelings. You can find these posts when you type ‘pregnant’ in the search button at the top of this page. It may help you to read their posts and the replies they received. It must be so hard for you to be in this situation and I can understand that at the moment you have so many worries about the future. and so many mixed emotions. I hope that you will have great support from familly and friends and that you are able to look after yourself and the baby that is growing inside you, and no doubt was already loved by you and your partner from the moment you knew you were expecting. May you find the inner strength to make the right decisions and to get through the next few days, weeks and months, one day at a time. xx Jo

Hi Nyla,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your partner. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed, especially with a baby on the way.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
    • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
    • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, Nyla, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,


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