I lost my older sister to cancer around 7 years ago and although I am getting on with my day to day life, I am still really struggling with missing her and wishing that she never passed away. I feel like although the years have passed, I am not finding it any easier to go about my life without yearning for her and wishing that she never died. We were very close and I felt like a huge part of me died with her. There are things that only she knew about me and I feel like those parts of my personality no longer exist as I don’t have her to share them with. I feel like something switched in my life when she died and I wish my life could just go back to how it was before she died. I don’t know how I can move on with my life and I can’t help but feel resentful for people who have not had to go through this grief. I wish she never died, not just because I miss her, but because I miss the version of myself that existed when she was alive, and that no longer exists and will never exist again. Will this feeling ever go away? The general grey cloud over my life and the deep yearning for her to come back?