I lost my partner in 23rd may 2021 he was only 36 years old it’s nearly 6 months and it still all just feels like a nightmare. I found him in our home he had a heart attack which caused cardiac arrest minutes befor and the paramedics came so quick brought him back to life. He was on life support for 3 days before they done a brain stem cell test twice but there was no brain activity, since that I have struggled mentally physically and financially because we wernt married you get no financial help not to mention a lot of drama at the worst time of my life from estranged members of his family who he had cut out of his life his mum sisters and an auntie and cousins due to them being really toxic people. I now suffer ptsd anxiety and depression I have the same nightmare of finding him every night. Then October 5th my dad who lived next door to me died due to catching sepsis at the hospital kidney failure and having a stroke! My 11 year old son is the only person that has kept me going knowing I need to be strong for him everyone else around me is just concerned about themselves in an ideal world I thought these 2 great losses would bring my family closer ( more so me and my mum) but the only thing it has done is isolate me more as ii have no one there for me and show How selfish people are trying to prove their grief is more significant than mine when I don’t believe anyone’s grief is more significant than another persons just everyone has diffrent grief my mum has a really good support network I.e sister her brothers etc which I’m glad she has but I have just been left to ‘get on with it’ or told I need to ‘sort myself out’ if I ask for help ., I just really don’t know how much more bad things I can cope with that life is going to throw at me
Hi Hayley, it sounds like you have been through a hell of a time. I lost my wife 7 weeks ago: she was 47 years old. She died from a brain tumour. You would think that families would come together, but people just explode with emotion and sometimes that can be destructive. I’m so sorry you have had to suffer so much, but you recognise that your son needs and loves you. Start from there and don’t push yourself too soon. This is going to take time…
Hayley, I am very sorry for you and you are right there are lots of selfish people out there and I am afraid death brings the worst out, I really will never understand why.
I know there are lots of issues for people who have not officially married in one form or other and only discover the drawbacks at the worst possible time.
Grieving is hard but it does make us stronger and I am sure you will get through this tough time, your son is there for you and you are there for him. Keep safe and remember we are all here for you.
S xx
Thank you this horrible time has made me realise I’m a lot stronger than I ever thought I was and my son is just the most amazing boy in the world he really doesn’t realise just how special he really is he’s been my rock
I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m really grateful for you just acknowledging that this had a been a horrendous time for me, which is a lot more than any of the ones around me have done I have tried to be there for everyone . And help out even down to helping organise both funerals but was pushed out from both not having any input on my boyfriends or my dads ( I wasn’t even mentioned at my boyfriend thanks to his mother) all’s I can do. Now is try an rebuild the best life I can for me and my son really am so sorry for your loss
Hi Hayley
I am so sorry for your loss you really have been through it and as I am finding out for myself people just don’t understand I keep saying unless you have walked in someone else’s shoes you can’t know how someone is feeling I really have learnt that. What you have been through is just horrendous and this stays with us forever and ever. I have recently lost my boyfriend to pancreatic cancer and I’m sure some people think just because it’s 6 weeks on which is no time at all… they think I’m doing ok and the truth is I am not not one bit…
Like you say your son is getting you through I would put everything in to that and do what you want to do I try not to listen to others I know how I feel and how distressing it has been since paul had become ill. People will never understand it and everyone just gets on with there life and thinks as time goes on your ok but for me it’s quite the opposite
Take care and you know what you had with your other half and that is all that matters x x
Thank you it really has been horrendous and the drama with his mother ex partner and sister at the start was completely disgusting it’s been 25 weeks since my lee went and I still can’t properly accept he’s gone I don’t think I ever will we’re they say in time but as time goes on I feel worse xx