In October 2022 I lost my mother very suddenly to a brain aneurysm. She was 51 and healthy and was at my house the day before it happened, chatting and smiling. I was 26 with a 5 month old baby and an 3 year old and it’s only now that grief has fully set in as I was so focussed on trying to be a good mum and support my dad.
I have now been diagnosed with PTSD as I cannot get the images out of my mind of my mum in the ICU with a tube down her throat (basically on her death bed). I see it every time I close my eyes and I replay the words that the doctors said when they told us we would have to say goodbye, I hear my dads sobs, my aunty heaving and my brother losing his mind (I was frozen in a state of shock).
Does anyone have any advise or just words of support. Please tell me it gets better 
Hi @Mairead96,
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support/share their thoughts, but I just wanted to thank you for so bravely sharing this with us.
Keep reaching out,
Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team
So sorry to hear about your mum. 
Have you had or did they suggest counselling for the PTSD when you got the diagnosis? If not, it’s something to consider. Not being able to escape the thoughts is scary and it’s difficult to cope with on your own. You need someone with experience to guide you through it.
One thing I try when the thoughts come is to snap back to the present moment by grounding, which is to make myself aware of the surroundings, saying out loud what I can see, what I can hear, what I can feel. And telling myself that I’m not in that situation anymore, nor is my dad (who I lost), none of us are in that horrible place anymore.
Keep reading and posting here too, everyone is kind and it helps you feel less alone. 
Hello Mairead96,
I know PTSD well. It is now two years and seven months and a bit since I lost my brother to a heart attack. The anxiety is getting slowly better now and the panic attacks are down by about 30%. (Depending on the weather.)
I try to be with people when and where I can. I also go to the local park and spoil the dogs with some treats. (I would adopt them all if I could.)
I joined a jigsaw puzzle group and have a meal once a week with some new friends at the local community support centre group. I also joined a bereavement group at the local church and have a tea/coffee and some cake once a month. Have a look if you have something like it nearby.
Nick