Pulling or pushing up the rollercoaster

Losing a partner
1

Many of us talk about grief being a rollercoaster.

It started me thinking about them.

So I was reading about how rollercoasters work.

Apparently, most of the trains are pulled up by a chain or cable and released downhill.

When I read that, for me it certainly related to when I go downhill!!

I think it also relates to getting back up again.

Pulling ourselves, perhaps some would say, trying to push ourselves, especially when we feel at rock bottom.

Well, after a few days where I was definitely released downhill,
today I am going to try to pull myself up.

For a few recent weekends I have made a few efforts to spruce up some rooms.
I suppose the efforts were a bit halfhearted, BUT TODAY IS THE DAY !:slightly_smiling_face:

Nothing major, tidying up, rearranging pot plants, ornaments, that sort of thing.
It is a start.

It isn’t about removing my husband’s presence from the house, far from it.
We were never the tidiest of people but I do like a bit of order.
He was very, very untidy and no, he didn’t know where things were in the mess :wink:

Really, I will be continuing our practice when someone was coming around,
a quick, often panicky, tidy up :slightly_smiling_face::rofl:

It is a small start up the rollercoaster but we all have to start somewhere.

Wishing you all the best Saturday possible.

I hope you find something to occupy you, bring you pleasure and/or comfort
if possible.

Sending you love and hugs,

Rose xx

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Thanks rose. I hope your activity makes you feel a little better and that you get started back up that slope.

I spent the last 2 days Sanding and varnishing our gazebo. We have many sheds as well that need done, and I had planned to do it over the summer but just couldn’t get myself going. It’s hard to get motivated - but I did feel better having achieved something. I’m sure you will too.

This morning I find myself on my own as youngest just gone to work and I just feel so sad as I miss my husband. I’ve got things to do - walk dog and seeing neighbour for coffee and will have my kids with me later but it just doesn’t help me feeling that I will always miss him and I feel such a huge loss in my life.
There’s no way round it really. Just have to keep going and hope it will ease.

Take care xx

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Good for you Rose if we don’t make the effort we will just wallow,I am sure you will pull to the top again and stay there much longer.
Love RonXxx

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Dear @roni52 ,

it does feel good achieving something.

I also understand doing things, meeting people occupy us and can bring some distraction, relief, sometimes even pleasure. We need to do these things.

They are obviously not the same as being with our husbands, they can’t be, ever.
I believe we are at the point of knowing they are gone but not totally believing it and wishing they would come back. Like you, I miss my husband so much, he was my world. I was crying and very angry yesterday that he had been taken.

I think one of the next steps could be moving towards acceptance that we now have to get use to a new life.

I totally get the lack of motivation to do things, believe me!!!

Anyway, here I go now.

Sending a very big hug :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Rose xx

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Thank you @Ron11 .

That is so kind of you to be so supportive when I know you are hurting.

Wishing you the best day possible.

Sending a very big hug,

Rose xx

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Hi all,

paused for a mug of tea.

I pulled myself up a bit.

Then a relative messaged me to say that a lot of the family had got together to celebrate their wedding anniversary :slightly_frowning_face::roll_eyes:. Moaned about part of the get together.
Really? Do they not realise or just not think?

So I did slip back a bit and cried a bit.

I have stopped now.

However, I will get back to my tidying up in a while.

Upwards!

Love and hugs everyone,

Rose xx

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Oh dear, can’t stop crying now.

I was on a slow climb up until the message.

Why tell me that?

They are 10 years ahead of us.

How I wish I would have had another day, another year, another decade.

Thank you for letting share x

I have stopped crying.

I know you understand xx

Take care everyone :heart:xx

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The rant and cry has definitely helped.

Love and hugs everyone.

:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Rose you know we’re all here for you anytime

Love and hugs
Liz
X x

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Hi Rose, I can relate to everything you say about the rollercoaster and well done for pulling yourself up!
You have now inspired me to get going with some jobs in the house and before I put it off again, I’m getting the dusters etc out right now!!
Hope your Saturday goes well.
Sending love xx

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Good morning,

I have started the push me, pull me up the rollercoaster.

It has started with a mug of tea and cuddles with one of the cats.

Rose xx

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Good thats what I like to hear.

I’m rushing off to Church

Lots of love and hugs
Liz x x

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In my humble opinion trying to accomplish a few things is a good start. I feel a little better when I do that. I hope small steps help.

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It is just small steps @Fellini. Just getting through each day is an achievement. I’m so sorry you lost your husband and hope you find some support and comfort from those on here. We all understand and feel your pain.
Look after yourself xx

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Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to be able to share here.