It’s a late night again and I’ve just had a really bad episode of crying.
I lost my person just over a year ago - I still cry but sometimes I still have these random fits of agonising crying where I just can’t stop.
Usually something triggers it but tonight it’s just come out of nowhere. I wasn’t sure where I’d be a year on from the loss but nothing is getting easier/better. I still don’t believe I’ve truly accepted it. I know I haven’t as I still sometimes say to myself that I’m bound to wake up one day, that it was all a nightmare. It has to be. Why can’t it be
This journey is hard isn’t it. I guess I just wanted to document it and see if anyone is/has felt the same. Sending hugs to everyone reading this
Nearly 22 months for me and have good days and bad days. I find now that the worst part of this grief is missing my husband and missing the future which we should have had. I know that I will never see my husband again and don’t think I will ever have acceptance as to painful. They say that you will grow around the grief and other times you will go right back to the grief which is like a constant companion. I find crying, talking and screaming can be a release so cry when you want and reach out and talk to people who get it. Big hugs x
You not alone trust me, someone mentioned earlier on in here that was in a cafe. That triggered my memories and the tears came. Just reading this now as I can relate to a lot of post on here. Not been the best of weeks for me this week but just have to soldier on and except I’m on my own in a crappy life.
It’s so difficult isn’t it. I even got triggered the other day by an air freshener that I sprayed - I had bought that same air freshener last year around the time of his death and smelling it again just made me ball. I now associate that scent with my loss and it’s all just so unfair.
I’ve not really coped throughout the whole of this year, suffering the first birthday and then the death anniversary. And all the many triggers in between - it’s just all too much.
I wish I could heal everyone on here. Breaks my heart that we are all here. Sending so many hugs to you xx
I understand totally, it’s a nightmare. It’s nearly 1 am , can’t sleep, just want my husband lying next to me exhausted from crying. , Sending love to you all and may we find some peace eventually x
I lost my Nan back in April ,2022 and I didn’t hit me until about a year and half later since I was the last grandchild to see her before she had a heart attack. She major heart surgery 4 months before and in the end died of major heart attack in her own home and passed
away after paramedics worked on her for four hours
Very hard! double blow for me. But it’s no good me feeling sorry for myself. Life kind of goes on in sometimes in a strange cruel way. But it is what it is! my views on life at the moment.
My hubby passed last month ,i have good days,bad day,its the evenings and night i can’t deal with,i don’t have any friends who are local who i can visit or they drop by for a cuppa and a chat.It’s lonely.
Same here…the evenings and nights are the worst. It’s a bit easier during the day when there are things to do. If only I could sleep a whole night through. The evenings and nights are so empty and lonely.
I got used to sleeping on my own as hubby had a hospital bed downstairs and was bedbound,the first few nights after he passed were a bit hard,but i’m doing ok now.
Absolutely feeling just the same. I’m just over two years on and it’s more intense now. In a strange way I don’t want to stop feeling as it means forgetting. The best way to cope is to cry when you want to - it’s natures release, but also talk to anyone kind enough to listen -either family, friend or professional. Importantly find something every single day that gives you pleasure (a walk, nice food/drink, enjoyable tele, good book, chat with someone) - all these things boost /dopamine levels and help to make you feel better. Xx
