Reaching out

I guess I have stumbled across this page
From searching for guidance in how
To make sense of life. My father passed unexpectedly back in 86 and at that time I was 7 years old - we didn’t ask questions, we wernt in someways acknowledged,
It’s something I still hold anger too & possibly don’t understand now I’m 44! It still hurts. I lost my aunty whom I was extremely close to in 2010 through suicide - she had attempted once
Before but this time it worked. I don’t know how I feel about this. She was looking after my son, she was an integral part of our family, I don’t know why
She thought this was her way out - we loved her so much and showed her. She had her post natal depression demons but she was our everything- the most beautiful soul xx now I am left with being so protective over those who are here with me, the thought of anyone passing just makes me dread the future - thank you for listening - I don’t know what I need from this - maybe people that just understand xx


Hello @Nic26 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling scared about the future and fearful of experiencing further loss. I’m so sorry to hear about the losses in your life and from such an early age, this is so very difficult for you. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hello @Nic26. I am sorry for the losses that you have had in your life. I lost my mum unexpectedly a month ago.
All on this forum are grieving and truly understand about sadness, anger, guilt, regret and all of the other emotions that come with losing someone very close to us.
I understand so well your worry of losing anyone else who you love. My mums death has changed me so much. I feel hyper aware of the fragility of life and feel so scared about losing someone else that I love.
I hope that you find as much support in this forum as I have. Sending you my best wishes to you. X

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@Nic26 I wanted to advocate for your aunt. :heart:

I have suffered from depression all of my life and it is a very lonely & isolating condition. Although I could be surrounded by people who genuinely loved me, it’s like I’m in a glass case because I genuinely can’t feel it. All I can feel is pain.

When the pain became too much to bear, your aunt probably just couldn’t take any more. Some people say that those who commit suicide ‘take the easy way out’ but I wholeheartedly disagree. If suicide was so easy then many of the people on the forum wouldn’t be here today.

Your aunt was probably (if her experience is the same as mine) in SO MUCH emotional/mental pain and just couldn’t take any more. It doesn’t mean that she didn’t love you or that you didn’t love her enough. She wanted peace and now she has found it, together with all the love & healing that she needs on the other side.

I hope this helps :heart:

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