As I sit on the sofa at my daughter’s house (I slept there last night), I realise that I am wearing the same top and sitting on the same sofa as I was in May, when David was still alive. It was the last time we made it across and we were sat there like Dick and Liddy each with our mobiles to hand, when our daughter took a photograph on hers. I ought not to have looked at it. I am now in floods of tears. I now know that I shall always feel like this. The loneliness has shaken my faith, I always believed that our souls would be together one day but now I just feel lost. And alone even with family around me. So I have come back here this morning to help relieve the ache and the sadness. Thank you to those who post even though they have the burden of grief to carry themselves…
That lonely feeling without our soulmates can be so hard Robette …and nothing can seem to fill that space …but why would it… I guess …the very thing that gave us a sense of purpose has been taken away …talking with a counsellor recently I realise that I now need to try find that sense of purpose again in the world I have found myself in …I hope that you to find your way through this maze they call grief …remember you are not alone on that journey none of us wanted to be on …sending warm wishes your way.
And I you. But even sat here with my youngest grandchild, aged 4, that warmth and love that was my husband has gone and it is that feeling of two being one that I shall never replace. As he died in June I think my solo journey through the rest of my life has just begun but the speed with which he was snatched away from me has left me, like so many others here, bereft.
Nothing can prepare us for the moment when we lose our special ones can it …my husband died on the 23rd Feb …and his funeral was just before the lockdown …my coping mechanism these past months has been distraction / trying to keep myself occupied with decorating …but I know that’s just running away from those strong emotions that grief evokes …now it’s time to slow down and allow those emotions to be acknowledged…I hear what you are saying and how you feel nothing can replace what you had with your loved one …and you are right…why would it …it was unique and special to you both …like I with my husband …I guess that’s what we need to acknowledge and find a way to celebrate how lucky we were to have them in our lives …I’m sure over time we will reach that place in our minds and in our hearts …take care now
So right Bab, we we’re lucky to have thme in our lives. I feel very fortunate that I met June when we both 16 and married at 21, 45 years ago. So, I too am trying keep busy, talk to here and write to her most evening. June only passed 8 weeks ago so I’m not ready to do anything else yet, not sure I even want to.
Hi. Robette. The feeling of being lost, of the awful isolation and the fear for the future are some of the worse things to bear. The pain can be overwhelming at times. I have said before. it’s like being carried along on wave of grief and there seems no way of stopping the wave or the pain. I too lost faith in anything, but it has returned.
I have faith in the kindness of my fellow humans, and especially on this site which was a lifesaver for me, literally. If it takes this pain to bring us together then so be it. I too believe that we will all be reunited again in some way and that this life is but a passing milestone along the way. The journey through it can be tough, but we negotiate all the potholes and barriers until we reach our destination. It takes a lot of courage, perseverance and patience.
Mornings, I find, are the worse times. The house is so empty and waking up is still a bit of a shock. And that’s after 20 months.
But I am making some sort of new life and so will you. It may not feel like it at the moment, but it’s early days.
Take care of yourself. You are never alone, not while you have us here. Blessings and be kind to yourself. John.
Like you I met my husband at 16…and we would have celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary on 5th July …I keep a mental note of the date we were last together and its already 6 months …time has gone so quick in so many ways but also so slow in many other ways …8 weeks you say for you Dave …as for not being ready to do things …I think we will know when …but I think the steps we all make should be small and manageable…one of my favourite songs is one day at a time …that’s all we can do …take care