Really bad day today, heavy heart all day.

H ello everyone

I am having a really bad day today. Not looking forward to Christmas, my first one without my mum. All day I have had such a heavy heart. How your feelings can change from day to day. Last night we were at an 80 birthday party and we had a great evening. I was determined to for my mum’s sake. I knew she would have wanted up to enjoy. Often she would say I have had my life, you have yours and I know that is what she wanted. The irony is mum would have loved the evening and been the life and soul of the party.

How do I cope with such a massive loss? Some days I feel like I dont want to go on.

Thank you for any advice or suggestions


Hey I know how you’re feeling as I also lost my mum in March this year and I keep getting so annoyed at people for being excited for Christmas when I really don’t feel like celebrating it at all.

I try and have a good life for my Mums sake but I’m just so sad all the time and miss her so much that it hurts.

I did think I was doing okay at some point but the grief all came flooding back again and I don’t think these dark and wet days are helping.

My Mum loved Christmas so it’s just one big painful reminder.

I’m sorry but I don’t know what advice I can give you because I’m also wondering how I’m going to get through it myself but it does help to know that people do understand!


Hi There,

I’m sorry for your loss. Today is one of those awful days for me too. I get it, and I understand this unbearable feeling of your world just falling apart.

I can’t believe I would say this, but at this point Christmas doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. This is my first Christmas without my mum as well. And without anyone else. This is partly my decision, because I’ve had so many fall outs with family that I just need to be on my own.

It’s hard to go on. Grief is exhausting, painful, it just sucks all your energy from your soul. But you need to go on for her. And for yourself. I always think that after the storm, the sun will rise. Good things are coming your way, and you need to believe this.

There is nothing like a mum, it’s the most precious thing in life. But you know what? We had one that we loved so much, and as hard as it is we need to be grateful for the time we spent with her. If she is anywhere looking at you right now, she would want you to be happy. :purple_heart:


Aw bless you thank you for your lovely message. I am so sorry to hear that you are having an awful day too. Yes it does seem some days you dont want to go on.

I do not blame you being on your own. You could just treat it like a normal day or volunteer if you wished. I did that for a few years with my mum when my Dad passed in 1999.

Thank you for your supportive words, yes grief is exhausting and life changing. You are right as hard as it is I do need to go on for her and my sake. I also have a husband to consider. I do feel for him as I tell him sometimes I dont want to go on.

From my experience of loss of my Dad, i know you are right life does go on. I though I would never get over my dad, but I did. I believe they are watching over us and giving us signs and can guide us.

Your words have meant so much to me in Good things are coming my way as I have lots of life changing things going on right now.

Mums are so precious and the love is nothing you ever know.

Once again thank you xx


I know exactly how. You are all feel I’m having a bad day myself I lost my dad back in October this year so everything is still raw I got through the the funeral I’ve been helping trying to carry on went back to work as I have 2 out of my 3 children on the autism spectrum. Inc my mum who’s is undiagnosed but I just know she’s on it so have a lot to cope with and my hubby is brilliant he lost his mum last June so knows how in feeling so is my youngest who had to cope with losing 2 grandparents in 18 months

I’ve had a weekend of Christmas parties having a good time trying to carry on I’ve been slowly trying to put up my Christmas bits up more out of routine for my eldest two but the middle one had a meltdown at me over something to eat this morning and I just broke and I ended up sitting crying in my car for 2 hours not want to go to work or even home. Just no knowing where I wanted to be just wanted to be on my own as I’m tired of being strong I just my dad back


My sympathies. :heart: I’m having a bad day too. First Christmas without my dad and it’s taking it’s toll. I’ve been crying nonstop. You’re not alone!


Sorry for your loss. :heart: I lost my dad just recently as well and somehow managed to go through with the funeral.

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I’m having a bad time at work with one colleague, always putting me down, as if its not hard enough for me, losing my mum, 1st Christmas without her, and this colleague has no understanding of how i feel, they have still there parents, I’ve not.


I know exactly what you mean about Christmas. For me Christmas is cancelled. My mum passed in February so similar time to your lovely mum. My husband and are spending it along and going out for dinner. To be honest I would rather volunteer, but for his sake I have to do something. My mum would only have a go at me if I didnt!

The weather is definitely not helping, it can make you feel bleak without having lossed a loved one.

Thank you for replying and it is good to know that people understand.

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The weather seriously does not help😕
I lost my mum in June and for some strange reason today I miss her soo much! Christmas is going to be so tough without my parents! I would do anything to be able to give either of them a big hug right now x


Im so sorry to hear it sounds like you have so much to deal with as well and your grief. Sending you a massive hug x

The weather really does affect my mood and I am sure this is the case for a lot of us. I really understand how you must be feeling. No matter what age you are, when you do not have either of your parents it is so so hard.

Sending you a big hug xx

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