Really struggling at the moment.

Hello, five weeks ago my wife of 27 years passed away, I’m really struggling at the moment. My wife was taken into hospital on 6th June with difficulties breathing. She thought it was her COPD condition, fluid was drained from around her lungs and cancer was found which had spread. I brought her home on the 14th with the help of the hospital and she passed away in my arms on 16th June.
It was us against the world, we have no family as such and very few friends since my wife went into hospital I’ve had to go through this all on my own. When I was doing this I was strong for my wife, now I’m hopeless a wreck. The simplest of tasks is huge I can bring my self to go out I just stay in mostly starring into space. I force a bit of food down me but its a struggle iv lost best part of 2 stone since my wife went into hospital. I feel so lost and alone. Sorry for the depressing post.

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Hi Steve.S.
All i can say is having been in a similar position for nine months now try to think about how the two of you were together and how you enjoyed each other`s company.
Peace John.

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For a start it is not depressing, I lost my darling Frances on may30 at 7.12 in the morning. I was holding her hand and looking into her eyes.
Since then I have been a total wreak. Crying all the time just about eating. Forget sleeping. It has not got easy. You need to talk to someone, either on this site or ring your local hospice.
It will take time
Hope this helps

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Not al all depressing, Steve, just the reality for many of us. I went for a nap this afternoon and woke up feeling really lost and depressed without my Andrew by my side. Also, no need to apologise. This forum is for people like us and we all share the pain. Please see the message I posted earlier today titled ‘Never having to say sorry’.

Hope it helps.

Warmest wishes,

Sonia :heart:

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Hi @Steve.S welcome to the Community. I am so sorry for your loss.

It’s important to take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. I think you could benefit from registering with our recently-launched Grief Self-Help Service especially during these early days when things are so raw. It has some really useful information to help you cope with what you are going through right now.

Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement. They offer a helpline, email support, counselling and support groups through their local services. Contact them on 0808 808 1677, or via their website

Please remember Samaritans are always available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

I do hope you find our community helpful. Keep reaching out and please know that we’re here for you.

Take care,

Online Community team

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So sorry to read about your sad loss. Must have been a terrible shock to find out that news when she went into hospital. No need to apologise for your post. We all understand on here how it feels. I’m sure you will find it helpful.
Try and take care of yourself x

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I feel for you Steve. I’m very sorry you lost your wife. It sounds it was such a shock and it’s natural you miss her deeply.
I don’t find your experience depressing, it’s the reality of life and very very sad, please don’t concern yourself with how your feelings and experience will be perceived by others, not at this time, just feel what you feel, be aware it’s early days. Try to eat as best you can but it’s not uncommon to lose appetite when bereaved.
I had counselling with cruse and it did help me in the initial months ( well I waited about 2/3 months so before counselling was totally alone with the most awful grief and shock), especially just getting through the practical things that a death demands of the living. I look back now 3 years later and don’t know how I got through all that stuff, registering the death etc etc
I am grateful to cruse so if you feel up to it I do recommend it, though know it’s not for everyone.
It helped me just reading posts on here even if I couldn’t write anything myself it was meaningful to hear others were experiencing what I was as it was so lonely to be in such pain.
I read up on grief that helped too.
Please keep posting on here there’s a lot of folk ready to help, and ready to hear about your wife, if that helps to talk about her.
Take care

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I lost mum in pretty much undiagnosed circumstances I’m here if you need me