My Nan has recently passed away and she was amazing. She has been unwell for a long time and was due to have an operation on Tuesday. She passed away with her family at home before going to the hospital. I thought I was prepared but I’m really struggling. I was sat with her when it happened, trying to get her to drink something, and I can’t get the image out of my head. I’m trying to support my grandad now but I don’t think I can in that way that I want to. If anyone has any suggestions of what might help or how to make the images in my head less vivid then please help. Thanks
Hi. Gemma. Images or painful memories will come. We can never be really ‘prepared’. When someone passes however much it was anticipated it will always be a shock and a trauma. It’s about the worse experience any of us can have.
Please don’t try and force the images away. It’s all part of the process called grieving. Trying to suppress emotions is not helpful. Go with the pain however bad it feels and take it all day by day. You can’t rush grief which is a very individual affair. Everyone grieves in their own way. You can support your Granddad if you give love and understanding in spite of your own pain. His distress must be like yours, perhaps more so. You both need understanding and support. A visit to your GP may help even if you don’t want medication. Services are available for bereavement. Take it easy and allow yourself to mourn. You may find reading other posts on the site helpful because everyone here understands, we have all been there. Take care and come back any time you want to talk. Kind wishes.
Hi gemma im having the same thing my mam died in my arms 6 months ago and the flashbacks are driving me mad, the scenario of the days goes round and round in my head like a movie. Its awful so i no how u feel. I went to the doctor and he said i have ptsd because of the trauma in it all. Maybe see ur doctor and tell him how ur feeling. Sending hugs xx
I still have flashbacks after 21 months and they are painful. Counselling thru Sue Ryder helped me deal with the first anniversary as I knew I would relive it in full. But I have also accept they will stay with me, popping into my head in quiet times. They are part of me.