Recent loss of my husband.


Im so very sorry any of us are here and selfishly sorry that im here too my god i wish i wasnt on this forum.

On Friday 22 December at 00.23, My world was shattered when my amazing handsome best friend, husband love of my life and father to my children was taken from us so very suddenly with no illness apart from a cold and a doctors appointment a week before where they saidnit was a viral thing and wouldnt give him anything for it.

We were in bed he started making a very odd noise and was straight away unresponsive, i turned him onto his back realised a problem as he was turning blue and rang 999 i attempted CPR and couldnt bring him back. Paramedics were here for 30 minutes working to save him and they couldnt.

My 12 year old son was trapped in his room as hubby was on the landing outside his door as the paramedics had to move him to work on him as our bedroom is tiny… he heard the whole thing and was in there all alone.

My 5year old heard the noise of the machines and paramedics being here and what was going on but his room is further away from where our room is so we could get to him and he wasnt alone.

I feel totally crushed in my grief my kids are traumatised and i am angry at the world right now, i just dont know how to move forward. Christmas was horrendous as i expected i am exhausted and can’t sleep as i keep seeing him.

There needs to be further investigation into what happened and the coroner rang me today to confirm their next steps i have spent most of the afternoon in tears.

I dont no why i posted on here when everyone else is suffering too, but i just feel so lost and alone and have no idea how to make this awful pain inside me stop.



Hi Star,
I’m new here too and do not know what to say except that I’m so sorry that this happened to you and your sons.
You’re right, everyone here is hurting, but we also know what it feels like to loose someone we love and can help each other by listening and supporting each other.
I wish you peace, my friend :heart:


I’m new to this site too. You have reached out because your world has been completely shattered and although I’ve only just joined this site, I can see that there are countless people who have experienced very similar things and we can all share those experiences in confidence and without some meaningless answers, telling us it’ll get better in time. I’m sending you my condolences and although I don’t know you, I’m sending my love to you and all those grieving, whether it be very new like you or at any time xx Diane


You are not alone. I lost my amazing partner on December 18th. Like you we had no warning. We were just getting ready for work like a normal Monday. I was making a brew while he was in the lounge and I heard this weird noise. I thought it was the TV. It wasn’t. He was slumped on the sofa and his face had changed. The emergency services talked me through what to do but I couldn’t get him flat to do CPR. It was horrendous. The ambulance was really quick to arrive and they tried for an hour. I can’t imagine what that would have been like with children and my heart goes out to them both. And to you. I don’t really know how I got through Christmas; it’s already just a blur and I can’t seem to concentrate on anything. I’m also waiting for the coroner who is still doing ‘tests’ because they can’t establish a cause of death. I don’t think I am best placed to advise you except to say take any help that is offered and just do what feels right at the time. Give yourself some leeway; there are no rules at the minute and be kind to yourself as well. This is a group none of us would choose to be part of but we are all here for mutual support and understanding. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Take care x


Thankyou for replying. :heart: so very sorry for your loss x

Thankyou all for replying <3 so very sorry for all of your loss x

1 Like

So sorry to you all for your sudden losses. I suffered the same back in July and the shock remains with you. I also couldn’t get my partner on to his back to do CPR and it was so frustrating, I often ask myself if I had been able to do that would the outcome have been different, though I have been assured by the doctors that treated him it was unlikely that the outcome would have been different.
Stay strong, the experience is similar but we all find different ways of dealing with it. Hugs to you all

2 Likes . Oh I am so sorry that must have been horrific for you all . It’s a good place to vent on here and there are some wonderful people who will be helpful in your time of need . The shock is horrendous I remember it well . I could only drink water for several days . The knot in my stomach went on along time . I hope you have a good family and friend network. . Post anytime you need help

My husband died 2 days after yours on the 25th paramedics came quickly and said you’re not having a heart attack but we’ll take you to the hospital for blood tests I was to pick him up later. He never came home his funeral is on Friday. None of it makes any sense.