Recent loss

Recently lost my wife after many years of happy marriage finding it very difficult to cope. Feel totally numb and the house feels empty and with xmas days away .


Hello @Rjs2 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife’s passing. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi @Rjs2
So sorry you have the need to join us here. I lost my darling husband suddenly in April this year. He was a slim, apparently a fit 60 year old who went out to play football one evening and never came home. It was truly devastating and the loss has been more immense than I could ever have imagined. So many of us here are finding this level of loss a huge shock but it is natural given the love we obviously had for our partners.

I hope you will find that knowing you are not alone in these feelings may give some comfort. Many of us find that at least there is a level of understanding here which we do not necessarily find elsewhere.
Keep posting about how you feel. It helps to be able to say it.


I know how you feel losst my wife three weeks ago after 29 yrs of marriage it is a vary hard thing to go through i still find myself talking to her which does help but i know its the feeling lonely but shes still around you in your thoughts remember the good times thats what i do hope this helped

Sorry to hear of your terrible loss too @Stevep19
I too had (all bar 3 weeks) 29 years of marriage to my wonderful husband. It hurts more than I could have imagined, even though we both knew we didn’t want to be without the other.

I hope your good memories will help. Mine mostly do but can’t stop crying this morning. Yesterday I was ok, today - NOT OK. It’s how it goes, for me certainly. I am almost 8 months in to this awful journey without him. A nutritionist I saw said she wants to see me at 11 months as that can be another very difficult time.

Thanks for your support my lovely wife was taken from me with a brain tumour and was very brave throughout and never once complained. She was my world we did everything together. We had a wonderful life and traveled to some amazing places her passing has left void in my life that I don’t think I’ll ever fill. I hope the pain and grief will ease . These forums are such a help and to talk to a complete stranger who also has had a sad loss certainly help and I do hope both our grief will ease over time.

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Grief they say is a journey I lost my wife to cancer a few days ago so I know how you feel. I still can’t believe she gone and still expect her to be there when I wake up in the morning. We had a good life and travelled to some amazing places but now it’s just me . I hope it will get easier I just feel numb. I think theses post help as we all need someone to talk to and sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than a family member. I think we must just take one day a a time but it’s very hard . Hope you grief ease’s during the weeks ahead.

I agree i was ok yesterday not today my darling Robert died 5 weeks ago and i miss him so much.he was a fit 58 year old man .life is hard to understand

Hello @Rjs2
I lost my husband suddenly 2 weeks ago and it was his funeral yesterday. The pain and heartache is indescribable isnt it.
I think the numbness is a protective shield about us.
People keep on telling me that Christmas time is the worst time to loose someone as if that makes it all better! We had planned a lovely relaxed week of doing not very much so it is very difficult to look forward to the festivities.
My son and I are going to our best friend’s house for the day so that will be nice to be with people who do understand as they have experienced similar loss.
@Rjs2 - I hope that however you spend Christmas, it is full of beautiful memories and thoughts of your beloved wife. X

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The worse thing is its coming up to chrismas we spent every year together now i feel empty i still bought the present she wanted and put it under the tree

I think xmas is off this year my son and his family have asked me over but i just cant face it at the moment. My wife loved the festive season but i just bring myself to even think xmas. I have to plan the funeral tomorrow which i am not looking forward to.
But i hope you find some comfort of being with friends and family . Perhaps next year when the pain has eased i will feel better but i know i will miss her for ever she was my world but its good to talk to people who understand.

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Im am told emotions change daily so i know how you feel .I try to get out of the house and go for a drive but nothing helps at the moment and the house is so empty and I miss her so much. But I must remember the good times and think of all the wonderful time we spent together that grief can’t take away.

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Like you I can’t face Xmas my wife always loved this time of year and was always preparing weeks ahead. I just feel so empty and today has not been good but I’ve had some very kind messages.


I think I am finally over the disbelief phase but I am almost 8 months in. For a long time, if I was out and saw a driving instructors car of a similar colour and shape to my husband’s I kept wondering and was looking to see if it was him. Thankfully I have stopped that now.


Sorry for your loss. I lost wonderful my wife just before Xmas after many years of happy Marriage.
I haven’t been on the forum for a while as it has been so hard with so much to sort out.
Hope you have got support from family. I try to get out of the house most days but since Xmas it has been very difficult to cope with the emptiness. They say time is a healer so I hope this is true.
I know your town very and Warden Aviation where my wife and I visited the air show on a beautiful evening in September but now thats just memories.

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Hi everyone
I lost my wife to lymphoma on 13 Feb. she was only 8 stone but the hole that she’s left is indescribable.
we’ve all lost our sole-mates

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