Recent loss

My husband took his own life 4 days ago and I am feeling overwhelmed with grief. He suffered with bipolar disorder and became extremely depressed. He died while I was sleeping and I feel so guilty that I wasn’t there to stop him. I can’t bear to think of the torment he must have been suffering and he was the most loving husband. Friends and neighbours are being so supportive but I cannot imagine life without him.

Hi jacky im very sorry for your loss .Ive sent a pm to Priscilla re help for you i hope you dont mind .Im afraid ive no idea what your going through .Friend hug Colin (57)

Hello Jacky
Saying sorry will be of no comfort I know. It’s good you have some strong support, do you have a sympathetic GP? Maybe someone could go with you whilst you have a chat. Colin has given some good advice as few will be able to offer help from personal experience. Warmest thoughts to you.

Hello Jacky, I want to welcome you to our Online Community at this terrible time in your life. At the moment I expect you are feeling numb, and can’t really believe what has happened.
At this stage, I don’t think words are going to help you much, but I do want you to know that you are not alone. Please don’t even try and think about your future, without your beloved husband. Just take things very slowly, and be kind to yourself. You certainly mustn’t blame yourself for the death of your husband - from what you say, he had been struggling with his health, and I’m sure he knew how much you loved him.
I am thinking of you as you face the coming weeks alone. With kind regards, Jackie

Thank you Colin

Thank you Tina.

Thank you for your kind words. I am going to receive counselling after his funeral and everyone involved has been so kind. Your suggestion that I don’t think about the future is so relevant because it is like standing on the edge of an abyss and I can’t breathe. My husband had been struggling for the last 3 years when his medication stopped working and he had several long periods in hospital but his condition worsened after each episode as the new drugs never worked for long.He was a wonderful husband.Thank you again for your advice