Recently lost both my parents

It’s taken me quite a lot of courage to write here.
I recently lost both my parents, within 4 months of each other, and I feel slightly paralysed in terms of daring to let myself feel my grief.
My mum and dad had been married for 66 years, were truly authentic to themselves to the end, and were intrinsically linked to everything in my life.
I feel that life has become so pointless without them.
My dad had cancer and long Covid, and fought a heroic battle right to his last breath. My mum seemed so lost without him and then one day she fell, broke her hip and shoulder, and couldn’t overcome the trauma. Loosing mum in that way was beyond devastating for me. I feel like Dad had a journey that we were all part of but Mum was just here one minute and gone the next.
Both experiences have left me feeling like I can’t breathe and so I’m coping by just being very busy and it’s exhausting me.
I don’t know how to move forward from this point and I know I need guidance. I am hoping this community can help me.


Hi there, after reading your post I would just like to say I know exactly how you feel. I am sorry for your loss.
I took have lost both my parents just recently, my mum suddenly and unexpectedly beginning of January 2024, then just 4 weeks later my Dad, which was a sudden decline. They were both divorced from one another at different parts of the country.
I am totally devastated, my dad brought me up single handedly, and I was his go to person, ringing him everyday, arranging his appointments, meals etc, now I am just lost.
My mum’s funeral was Friday which I had to arrange, it was so stressful, my Dad’s is this Friday, he wanted a direct cremation, I feel like I can’t say goodbye for this reason.
It’s all so confusing


Hello there - I truly understand how you feel. I am so sorry for your loss - it is so difficult I know.


Thank you, this is why I joined this community to find people who are in a similar position to myself.
I am not someone who has ever considered counselling, but I have just enquired about some which is held at a local funeral directors, by a counsellor. Maybe this is something that may be local to you also and would help?
I hope you get on ok moving forward x


I think this is your problem right here. avoiding painful feelings then getting even more worn out. I lost both mine 3 years apart, caregiving etc. sadly, we must sit with the pain of the loss. being busy to avoid tires one when one is already so tired from the loss. it is also recommended to drink a lot of water and no alcohol. it is the worst chapter in life. I would not become so busy because physically it will affect you. I was an only child so I know the depth of losing loving parents. it is so very hard. condolences.

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Thank you for your advice and I know it’s right
I also know I must slow down and let myself start to feel what I’m feeling
You are also right - it’s the worst chapter of my life.
Joining this community is my first step to accepting my next bit - thank you for contacting me

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