I’ve just had to tell my mum i can’t be the person she talks to about her feelings of grief after my dad died suddenly. I feel like a horrible daughter but i think its innapropriate and i shouldnt be asked to do that. Ive probably been her emotional support far too much my whole life but this is the limit for me. It feels hard to take that away now she’s at her lowest, how do i support her in other ways without becoming her therapist?
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Hello Jessie22,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, and advice on ways you can support your mum while still looking after yourself. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Rhi
Take her to a real therapist. You are not equipped to handle her grief and you have your own to contend with as well. “Mom, I am suffering too and I have no answers and can not fix this, it is time for you to get some professional help.”
Much love.
I’m sorry for your loss. 
It’s a really difficult situation for both of you and it sounds like the best way you can support her right now is to assure her that you will be there for her, but at the same time help her find a counsellor she can talk to. Help her contact her GP or look online, if going private is an option. Hoping it works out for the best for you.
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You need to talk about your own greif and allow how you feel about your dad’s passing. Continue to help your mum in other ways take your time as you process your emotions
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