I lost my dear husband (67) suddenly and unexpectedly (undiagnosed heart attack) February 12. I’m finding at times I’m overwhelmed with grief when speaking to friends who are just being kind. This comes over me very quickly and I can’t continue my conversation for a few moments. It doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
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Mary 18 so Sorry for your loss. i lost my girlfriend of 17 years yesterday so for me its still fresh in the mind, i can whole heartedly sympathize with you the crying just comes on, let it happen its our natural of grieving, when it stops smile to yourself think about something your husband use to do taht made you laugh or smile, then laugh out loud seems to be working for me x
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Oh Mary18 that is exactly what happens to me. The grief just surges in and takes my breath away and I can’t speak at all for a little bit. It passes but means I just can’t get out what I’m feeling or thinking sometimes.
And I seem to cry much more than I did at the beginning.
Let’s hope that it gets a bit easier as we wade through this nightmare.
Take care of yourself and keep visiting here - we all understand and feel your pain and hopefully it will help to know others are feeling the same.
Xxx
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Life is so hard without him. I have my good days yes, i say good days. These are the days when i am not crying, asking why take him? Colin left that morning for work, i heard him go which was not very often as he was up at stupid o’clock but this morning i did. I can remember thinking I should get up, but as the thought ended, he had gone, and that was the day. 17th July last year. Undiagnosed heart condition 64, fit as a butchers dog, never smoked, hardly drank but bam, gone. He had pulled up to his first job of the day and never got out of his van. He was in icu 4 days but never woke up. Today is bad, really bad. There is no meaning now. Children, grandchildren dont hold me to this earth, purgatory does. To spend 34 years with this man i chose as a husband, love him, care for him, need him, smile when i see him and have butterflies whenever i was coming home from wherever i had been to spend eternity in a place without him because i had succumbed to this thought, i cant live without him IS holding me to this earth, this real time all consuming hell. TODAY IS BAD.
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Oh nicky1961, I’m so sorry you’re having a most terrible awful day. I understand how you feel, I have had a few of those unbearabe days lately too.
How you described your love for your husband is beautiful, and I can relate to that too.
Hold on, it will pass. Can you call someone and let them know you’re having a really bad day? X
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Mary18, i think this is very normal. The grief hits me in waves throughout the day, I’m 5 months in since my husband passed suddenly and unexpectedly. And then i seem to be hit by tsunamis of grief that knock me off my feet for days or weeks even. I am hoping that as time goes on i am better able to cope with the grief, i dont expect it to go away.
I have found it helpful to keep a notebook where i write down the emotions i am feeling, sometimes its just angry words, but it has started to turn into letters to him. I suppose i am writing everything i would like to tell him but can’t.
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Mary 18
That is very familiar . I am 7 months into my loss and it still happens . Grief is about love we will always grieve .
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Nicki 1961
I am only just reading your post . I am concerned about you. I hope you have been able to talk this through with someone . Reach out don’t be alone with your distress . Come back onto this site people here understand 
Sending you love and courage.
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Went to the tip today, something Colin would do. I had been gardening, didn’t realise just how much i had collected.
I struggled to get the rubbish into the car, but i did it. I got out, and all i saw were men unloading their cars, i was the only woman there, all of sudden this feeling of being utterly alone hit me. I just sat in the car crying. Watching these womens men doing what they do with ease, and i am here not knowing how i was going to get the rubbish out of the car again and over the barriers. I felt so stupid. I wanted to drive away but a chap opened the boot and did what i know i couldn’t. I thanked him through the tears and drove back to the house telling myself, i will never do that again.
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I know those feelings to . Things my husband would do or we would do it together now it’s just me.
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Those days are getting less, its just these firsts of everything…1st wedding anniversay , 1st christmas,1st grandchilds birthday, 1st son new home, the first of everything which never seems to end… but it will, i have no doubt. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, i have family who live quite near, and they have been brilliant. One day at a time they say… I’m trying.
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