Relapsed cancer

Hi My name is jen i am 25 and have non hodgkin lymphoma (blood cancer). I had chemotherapy over the summer while pregnant and my tumour shrunk from 17cm down to 5cm after just 3 cycles…things seemed to be going well…they said i should be in remission by the time i completed all 6 cycles. There was no more treatment or scans after that to allow my baby to mature and get to term. Unfortunately my beautiful baby boy died. He was born 4 weeks early last month and they did everything they could for him but he kept going into cardiac arrest.

I had a PET scan to check for any leftover cancer recently and the news is not good. I have 3cm of active cancer in my chest between my lungs. I will have to have very intense chemo and possibly a stem cell transplant…i googled it and i honestly wished i hadnt…apparently only 39% of people acheive remission after these treatments…

Today was my baby’s funeral and all i could think about was my mum. I feel so much pain at losing my baby boy, and i cannot even begin to imagine how painful it must be to lose an adult child. I really dont want my mum and dad to go through such pain. Im going to fight this as hard as i can, but i know ultimately we have no control over this terrible disease. I am so scared for mum and dad, i worry about how they are coping with the possibility they might lose one of their children, how i can help them? What can i do?

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Hi Jen,

I’m so sorry to hear about your cancer and the death of your baby boy. You are going through so much at the moment and it is understandable that you are scared. It’s very caring of you to worry about how this will affect your mum and dad, but I’m sure they will understand if your treatment and grieving for your son take up all of your energy at the moment.

I hope that it helps a little to have this space to get things off your chest. As well as this site, you might also be interested in the Macmillan Online Community, which has a Non-Hodgkin lymphoma group, where you can get support from others with the same cancer.

They also have a helpline (0808 808 0000), which you can ring for expert information, or if you just need to chat. It’s available to families of patients as well, so perhaps your mum and dad would find it helpful, too?

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Hi Jen

I am very sorry to hear about your cancer and the loss of your baby its very hard for you but you sound like a strong lady and I am sure youll get through it I hope so and then life can be smoother for you. YOu will never forget but in time youll cope because we have to my thoughts and prayers are with you

xx

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Hi Jen

You are definitely a fighter I can feel that and I get very strong vibes that you will fight this and get a good outcome . Keep positive cancer doesn’t like strong positive thinking people . I pray and wish you all the best in the world

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Hello Jen
I’m so sorry you lost your son, especially after what you went through. It’s natural that you want to protect your parents from pain but with all you’ve been through & the journey you are still facing don’t shut them out. Now more than ever they will want to love & support you & you need that. Don’t be alone . Grieving can be so painful but coming together as a family can strengthen all of you.
Wishing you love, peace & inner strength

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Hi Jen X cannot imagine how low you must be feeling keep as strong as you can keep positive , don’t think about the illness Think about beating it , get taking Turmeric capsules with some black peppercorns cancers in your body go and commit suicide they can’t live with them in your body start googling natural remedies if you were in America cannabis oil is a miracle worker and known to work wonders , although illegal here people do get hold of it , get your I’m not letting this beat me head on and get fighting ,. vonn x

Thankyou so much kris. Your messege brought tears to my eyes x

Thankyou so much Jem, your messege has made me feel so much more confident that my family and i can battle this! Much love to you and your loved ones x

Thankyou so much claudia, you are so right. I had been shutting my family and friends out a bit in the early weeks…but now i realise just how much we all need eachother during the hard times…i hope to make the most of whatever time i have left with my parents now…i dont like to burden them or pressure them too much in case it gets too much for them but they always say i shouldnt worry about that x

Thankyou so much claudia, you are so right. I had been shutting my family and friends out a bit in the early weeks…but now i realise just how much we all need eachother during the hard times…i hope to make the most of whatever time i have left with my parents now…i dont like to burden them or pressure them too much in case it gets too much for them but they always say i shouldnt worry about that x

Thankyou Vonn! I have actually just ordered some now after googling cumin and cancer…i will try it! Anything to aid this battle is worth a shot, certainly! I feel so much stronger knowing there are other things out there not just chemo X

Great

I know at times easier said than done but being positive really does help and from experience if you manage to find a glimmer of positive ness during the hard times it does help you get through . Keep the faith xx

Hi Jen,I have only just seen your messages I am so sorry for the dreadful loss of your precious little baby and for your own ill health…my heart goes out to you…you are one very brave person,your parents must be so very proud off you,if I’d had a daughter I would have wanted one just like you…Marina2 xx