I don’t mean to be unkind/upset people
I found that when I lost my mum to dementia when she died it was such a relief for her and myself I cared for my mum to her last breath there was nothing I didn’t do for her it was like I was free I had been grieving for a living person
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Yes I get that. It gets really hard to care long term when you feel mixed feelings. Had my husband lived he would have needed more care than I had strength for although I didn’t want him to die. But he was getting worse and hope was evaporating. I have such mixed emotions.
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Thinking of you Nori, time to be kind to yourself. You will have deep sadness but like you say your husband no longer in pain xx
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Yes it is a year today my husband died. Plodded in drizzle to put floral tributes I made out of things from the garden on his grave and where his memorial was where he spent all his time. Lit a candle for him in church and wrote prayers on prayer tree. Memorialised him. I had two nice bunches flowers delivered and Cruise councillor Tel me to see how I was. So was on my own. Tel my son’s. One had taken his little boy out as it was his birthday. So tomorrow to clear up as they are coming round Maybe they will make something for his memory. May watch a film of him. Play it by ear. I am still sad and did know he couldn’t go on forever and will never know but been trying to think what can do.
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Be kind to yourself. It’s tough I know. I’m still struggling with feelings of guilt at the relief when my husband died after a long protracted illness.
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Well I wasn’t amazing at all. You see we were both struggling not just him. We had to struggle to help each other.
I didn’t have the strength. If course I wish I did. No good feeling guilty about what I couldn’t do.
I wish I could have done.
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