Does anyone have a strong faith they’ve tuned into more since losing their loved one?

I was raised Catholic, went to catholic schools, regularly attended mass etc. As i got older, i lost my faith and questioned and wasnt too sure what i believe in for a long time, especially after she passed away i really turned my back and decided i definitely didnt want to follow a religion that allowed my partner to go through what she did.
My partner had a strong faith, and would bless herself and say her prayers every morning and night, and listen to worship music most days while getting ready.
Since she passed, ive been to mass a couple of times and called in to light a candle for her every time im passing, looking for some way to cope i guess. The past couple of weeks ive been praying and asking for help and for the last couple of days, her worship music has been coming on the alexa randomly without me even asking it to play. I guess im just a bit confused, and am wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and if their faith, no matter what faith or religion has helped them through grief?


I really wish I could have faith but at this moment I have none.
I have no signs off him whatsoever and now I’ve recently discovered “Operation pizza roll” I believe less than ever now :sob: