I lost my dad, who I was incredibly close with, on the 1st April 2025. I know my husband is there for me, but he isn’t good with emotions so just hugs me if I get really bad. Truth is, I have horrible days and all I want is him to be like my dad and hug and cry with me (my dad was the biggest softie, and the most loving person ever). Or even if he doesn’t cry, I want more than the silence I get.
I also find myself recently jealous/resentful of him and his parents, because I hate the fact he has both his parents, and I hate the fact that they have eachother when I know my parents love was indescribable and my mum is now left without the love of her life at a young age
2 Likes
Hi @nbeard94
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your dad that brings you here. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to look at: Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Naoise
So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad just over a year ago and also struggle with that feeling of resentment for those around me that still have both parents. The truth is - they can never really understand how it feels to lose a parent no matter how sympathetic they are. I often find myself resenting my friends when they complain about how ‘annoying’ their dads are or even of my own mum when she argues with my grandparents who are both still here and married. It might be helpful to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling - but also remember that it’s ok to feel angry. I feel that people are never very understanding of any emotion other than ‘sadness’ when a person is grieving, so I always felt unjustified and immature for being so resentful of loved ones when my dad died, but then I began telling myself that it’s ok to feel that way because it IS UNFAIR! It’s nobody’s fault - but that doesn’t make it fair that someone has been taken from us and that we have to live without them. Just because it’s ‘life’ and the rest of the world keeps turning, it doesn’t mean that death isn’t cruel, because it is. Nobody is to blame, but don’t ever feel ashamed for the things you feel when trying to navigate such an insurmountable loss. Sending hugs xx
1 Like
Thank you so much for your message. Your response has made me feel more accepting of the way I am feeling. I’ve still not managed to tell my husband about my feelings regarding his parents as I’m worried it’ll just come across in the wrong way. But it makes me feel better knowing it is not an unknown feeling whilst going through this.
Thank you xx