Dad passed away in December after a short illness and now have responsibility for Mum. A responsibility I do not want. I am really struggling with my feelings as I was much closer to Dad and at times have quite a toxic relationship with Mum who has very limited mobility and now has carers four times a day. I live about 35 mins away from Mum. Feel anxious all the time and miss Dad so much. Anyone in a similar situation
Hi there. Thanks for your reply. I am mid 50’s Mum is 79 and I am retired. I have a very busy life and have never had the best of relationships with Mum but I feel I need to change the way I feel and try and build a better relationship with her. I find it tough as am grieving for Dad who I love deeply
Many thanks Sheila you seem a very kind and thoughtful person. It makes such a difference hearing all this from someone else. Best wishes to you and take care. If ever you want to chat about your own feelings and thoughts do not hesitate to make contact xx
Hi dolphin I have a similar situation. I was so very close to my father but no so to my mother, things were very chaotic and fragmented growing up so I clung to my dad for stability and some normality. Since he passed it’s been very hard. My mum has carers each day and now has moved to an Independant living place for which I am grateful. It’s two years since my dad passed but it feels like yesterday still. It drove me to my limits at times as I wore myself outvusiting everyday. I now know this and that is to look after myself better and let the carers do their thing. I don’t visit every day now (the guilt at first was hard). I visit when I can but when I I feel able to be positive and strong. It gets better slowly. I hope with time you will some of you back again and that you feel stronger. Step at a time I find for me.
Thank you being so brave to post and take care of you
Thankyou for replying to my post. What I am learning from recent counselling sessions is that I still have my life to live and I should try and not feel so guilty about Mum. I cannot make her happy only support her but as you say let the carers do their job and continue to live my life as best I can. i miss Dad so much. you take care x