Rest in Peace Mum

I’m 19 years old, & in May 2016 I lost my mother to a heart attack! Let’s say things aren’t easy and I’m struggling.

Hi, I’m 22 and Mum died in October. Can’t offer any advice but can offer a virtual hug. X

Hey how are you coping with it all?

Hi Etta,

I see this is your first post - welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m sorry that you find yourself in a situation where you need to join us here, but I hope that you find it a good source of support. Do you feel like telling us any more about what brings you here?

Hi I lost my mum a couple of years ago suddenly and honestly the pain never goes away but you just learn to cope with it, me learn to realise that your mum would want you to live the best life you possibly could and you do it for her, you get up in the morning for her you have the best life you can for her, hope this helps I know it’s not easy and trust me you have good days and bad but remember she is always with you x

Am just so scared, my mum is at home in a hospital bed and am scared that she is scared to die if that makes sense. I have a 5 year old daughter am 20 and I only just lost my brother and did in march and April time. I feel like I will end up doing something daft x

My mum went into hospital about her leg and they told her that she was ridddled in cancer, they have brought her a hospital bed home so she can pass away at some point before Christmas and I am really scared. I am scared that she is scared, I lost my dad this year in march and my brother in April. I have a 5 year old daughter and I am 20 years of age and I feel very suicidal at times

I am so sorry to hear that your mum is expected to pass away soon, and that you have also lost your dad and your brother. That is a huge amount of loss to deal with in such a short time.

I am sorry to hear that you are having suicidal thoughts - it is important that you tell someone about this and get some support.

Please make an appointment with your GP as soon as you can and tell them about this - they can make sure that you get the right support.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

If you ever feel you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

You deserve care and support, Etta, and you don’t need to deal with this situation alone.

Do you get any help looking after your mum, from other family members or professional carers? Your GP can also help you get care put in place for your mum, and you could also contact the Marie Curie helpline (0800 090 2309) for advice on finding support in your area.

We have an End of Life section on this community where you can get support from others with similar experiences of looking after a loved one at the end of their life: https://support.sueryder.org/community/end-life

Hi Etta

Just seen your post and am so sorry. My Mum passed away three months ago and came home for her last few weeks. She got so much help from our local hospice, district nurses and our Doctor. Please ask for help as you will need all the support you can get at this time. Don’t be proud, if you want something however small it might seem ask.

All I can say is keep telling your Mum how much you love her and spend as much time as you can with her. These weeks are very precious though very hard. Little things like holding her hand and just talking can help you and her. Priscilla has given you really good advice, please follow it please do not feel suicidal, your Mum really would not want that for you.

Mel

Hi Etta,

I’m so sorry. My Mum died a year ago. Be with your Mum as much as you can. Let your daughter keep reminding you of the happy things in the world. Talk to people - friends, family, GP, whoever. My GP has been one of my best supports. Keep using this forum if it helps.

Xxx

Thanks you. It’s just really scary knowing she will just soon pass away

I remember that. I suppose the only thing I can say is taking comfor in known that she will no longer be in pain X

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