It is now 7 months since Peter passed away. This week I have experienced a real restlessness. I have found it very difficult to motivate myself to do anything. I would usually do lots of sewing, reading and gardening. Now the house is full of projects started and abandoned . I don’t seem to find any pleasure in anything. I know the the caravaning and travelling are not possible without Peter but I am shocked to find even the things I did on my own no longer give pleasure. Is this something that will pass?
Nearly 5 months with me I have to force myself every day to do something. It’s so hard isn’t it. Sorry for your loss .
Thank you for your response. I am sorry for your loss. It must be so difficult with your responsibilities. I find if I push myself I am exhausted the following day.Pushing myself may be two jobs instead of one.
I understand what you are saying linda…I find it hard to motivate myself …theres a sence of things not having a purpose or a point for me at the moment …I am sure it will change …but when the very thing that gave purpose is no longer here it’s hard…small manigable steps I guess …take care
Hi. Linda. Yes it will pass and it’s another of bereavement’s symptoms. Motivation is so difficult when we have no one to share anything with. Being able to talk things through with someone you trust and love was a big part of being together. That’s gone. My hobby was, and still is model ship building, but for well over a year I could not concentrate. I often sat down with some little enthusiasm then I just lost all concentration and had to stop. It is coming back slowly. But is any of this surprising?
I am afraid it’s all about not being impatient with time. When we find that something we enjoyed on our own no longer gives any pleasure, then leave it for the moment. No forcing yourself. Some say unless you force yourself you will never recover. There is some truth in that, but it can also have the opposite effect. Forcing yourself to go out and socialise is a good example. After all the time spent with people you come home to an empty house. (This may not be so in every case obviously), but even though there may be people there it’s still empty. You will know what I mean. Seven months is so little time. Any sort of relief from the pain will take time. You will never forget but you may well find the old enthusiasm to do things does return
Take care and give yourself some space and time. John.
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Hello Linda
I was a keen cross-stitcher and cardmaker. Especially cross stitch. Tony used to tease me that I would soon need to be fed intravenously because I hated to stop for food! I even did a few designs for articles in craft magazines. Then my husband died, and life as I knew it was no more. In the 10weeks since he died, I have not been able to do anything. My daughter mentioned it the other day and I felt physically sick at the thought. Considering I was seldom without a needle in my hand, that is really weird.
So you are not alone. I am hoping I will get back to it as it was once so important to me, but I guess the light has gone out of my life, meaning I am too upset to craft, and I might never craft again.
Hi Ann
Thank you for your response. It is sad that we’ve lost so much and the pleasure of our hobbies . Peter used to convert vans to campervan, only as a hobby but I would make the curtains and upholstery. It was much more fun doing things together. I’m hoping to find something to do before we get to the long winter nights. Linda x