My parents both died within five months of each other 11 years ago, and my fiancé died five years ago. I had been plodding along on a fairly even keel, but in the last few months the grief for my parents seems to have got much worse, for no apparent reason. It had never gone away, and I wasn’t expecting to ‘get over’ such close bereavements or ‘move on’ from them, but surely I shouldn’t be getting worse after all this time. Has this happened to anyone else?
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I feel that something similar will happen to me, I also lost both parents 4 months apart, and its only been months. My partner is terminally sick and has weeks left.
I feel like I’m numb and on autopilot, I was doing a lot of caretaking for both parents, who also were terminally ill, my Mum passed first, then my Dad, and after that, terminal diagnosis of partner, and the caring duties have still carried on.
It’s almost like I don’t know who to grieve for, all muddled and my thoughts flit from one parent to the other then to anticipatory grief for my partner, its like mental overload.
I feel it will hit me after my partner goes, and when I’ve fully come down from the constant adrenaline overload of the caring duties.
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