Retirement long way off but alone. How to survive?

Hi another post. 34 days now and the pain don’t get any less. How do you look forward to retirement although years away when your sweetheart wife has gone too early. At 49 I assume I got some time to go. Not that I want to. Life for me has ended far to early. I could not think of being with anyone else. The pain typing this hurts so much. I know I will get told day at a time but the thought of another 20+ years on my own without her is incomprehensible.
How do you get through this?

I feel the same as you, I’m 51, so it’s a way off for retirement and it’s scary, the thought of years ahead, it’s very hard . Like everyone says it’s best not to think too much about the future and think about today, otherwise we can’t cope with the thought of it. x


hi Jayandallison
like you my partner wasn’t exactly old,not that age as any bearing on the love people have for their partners who they have like you im far from coping,i may well be further down the road of grief,but does it get easier,does it heck as like,what we do is learn to live with the pain and some how manage to im living with my baby Jayne in my heart.and this will never change,why because Jayne was every thing I could ever want in a partner,id of layed down my life to save her.
but we are here we feel that no one else is hurting like us,sadly they are,and we will try to help others if we can,but firstly we need to try look after our selves.
me im hoping to do a skydive in my baby Jaynes memory…ive already had 3 tattoos dedicated to Jayne,why because unlike some I had no input in to the funeral and other things have added to my pain,but im not opening up about those other issues again as it just makes me angry.
Jay find some thing to keep Allison alive in your heart ,what ever maybe sound stupid but we have to find ways to help us cope.any thing.every thing try what ever comes to your mind.and please dont hold in the tears let them flow,its because you loved Allison so much that your hurting,this hurt and the tears will continue to remind you over the days weeks years that Allison was your world,this may well subside a little but you will find a way to live with this heart ache.sorry for my ramblings ,
thats my humble few words,sorry if ive offended you in any way.
take care and try stay safe.


How could you offend me. My head is full of questions that I know I’m not going to like the answers to

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Hi Jay I do so feel for you.I lost my husband nearly five years ago and the pain is still so sharp. I am 65 in a few weeks and am in my last year of work before retirement although I hoped to work part time. My love and I used to have a laugh about being old gits together. Our only extravagance was holidays and we had some wonderful times. At home I have framed some photos of us together in our travels and put them up on a wall all together. It often makes me cry my heart out but at least it reminds me that I was loved and characters happy. I only have one hope and that is that I will one day actually believe that I will see him again. I hope you can find comfort somehow as time goes by. I am sure you were both very much in love but the loss is so hard.

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She was my only love for over 23 years. Just 53 and suddenly without warning thanks to our GP for misdiagnosis. We were halfway decorating our house to then look at moving to a bungalow ready for retirement. Been robbed of that now.
But we did travel like you and she loved taking photos. Just those really good times has now ended. Do so so sad