I am meant to go back to work next week. I had a 45 min call with boss today where I just sobbed the whole way through as he complained about work and suggested I got therapy as his daughter is getting help with sickness phobia. I have been have chats with Marie Curie and they say I am doing well. How do I cope with going back to work where I just cry all the time. How do you all cope. Maybe it is just too soon
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Hi. I am doing just a few hours, Monday and Friday this week, after being off since my partner died in January. It was particularly tough as we had worked together there, he had left 6 months prior to him passing, had retired. So going back in there was hard, I managed to hold myself together as I teach a child at school, but, when I left and got indoors I was in bits, Iâm due in again Friday for a few hours, it is really tough. I need to have my salary though, so I have to really try. Iâm working my hours up over a 7 week period to help with building up my resilience and confidence again. Has your boss offered reduced hours? Can you do this for a while. I donât think there is an easy answer at all. I hope you can work out something to help you get back to work. Sending my best to you. LJ 
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Yes i can do reduced hours, and it has only been 7 weeks. I am turmoil since that call, I felt that he reflected my emotions back on me as it is was failing. Maybe I am pushing myself too much and need to give myself a bit longer. If it was happening to anyone else, I would tell them to take their time. Sorry for the ramble
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Personally, I wasnât ready to go back to work that soon. You really do have to be kind to yourself, do you have family and friends checking in with you? If youâre able I would give yourself more time.
It will be be tough, but I find those extra weeks meant I donât break down all the time, I still do, but I can hold it in better too, after using breathing techniques. I hope you find a solution youâre able to cope with. LJ
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Thank you. To know that people take longer where they can does help.
Sending you hugs, through your grief also.
This is the club that no-one wants to joins but there are so many kind hearts.
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It is heartbreaking, but lots of people on here have been a lifeline for me. I get so lonely and yet find it hard going out! I hope you look after yourself, itâs hard sometimes. Try to eat, drink and rest when you can. Am thinking of you. LJ
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Hi Nifster, I hope youâre feeling ok today, thinking of you LJ
Hi LJ, today is a little better. I feel that yesterday was an indicator that im not ready to go back to work yet as I have a very demanding job.
What i hate about grief is that is can come like a tsunami, and when you are exhausted already, there is nothing left
Like you, I cant bear to go out and I feel judged because of it, as I makes us more isolated.
I hope that you day has been okay, and you will never know how much it meant to have someone check on me today
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Hi, Iâm glad you feel a bit better, youâre right the grief can just be so overwhelming at times. I havenât known what to do today, I didnât sleep well, so that magnifies everything too. I just feel so sad. I am going in to work for a few hours tomorrow, am just hoping I donât get too overwhelmed.
Take good care of yourself 
LJ
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@Nifster firstly I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this heart wrenching, mind breaking crappy situation - there is no other way of putting it! I lost my beautiful husband in February after his 15 month battle with cancer.
I stopped work in February 25 ( after his terminal diagnosis in October 24) whilst he was still âwellâ. Prior to that, I worked teaching part-time from home. My husband was lucky enough to take early retirement for about 18 months/2 years of that, so we were fortunate to be together most of the time every day of every week.
I started a new job on Monday of this week, I didnât want to go back to teaching, so Iâm working full time as a teaching assistant in a SEND school. I need to work financially, but I also realise (after this first week) it is probably too soon, so bit of a Hobsonâs choice really. I was honest on the interview about my husband passing ( only about 6-7 weeks at that point) and Iâve been honest from starting Monday that I am masking, which they respect; it doesnât make it any easier though, masking is exhausting, and I canât wait to be back home, to walk through my front door, say hello to my husband and get back into my safe space! These people didnât know my husband, so I donât feel the need to talk to them about him ( not that I could and keep it together) so in some strange way I feel I can keep everything separate - go in, do what I have to do and leave it behind when I go. To me, it is purely a job, a way of earning money, nothing more nothing less.
I started counselling on Tuesday, Iâm hoping this will help me find a path for a way forward where I find it easier to rationalise this s***ây imposed change that is now my life, but still taking forward the life long love of my husband.
You need to do you! Do whatâs right for you, when it feels right, and remember itâs you tat matters, you are not responsible for other peopleâs emotions.
I really hope you find a work routine that works for you when you need to. X
Sending
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Hi Cas, so sorry for you loss. Its so sad how the realities of life force our hands. I wish that grief was recognised and supported in a non corporate way
Congratulations to you on your new job, I do think the mental distraction will help. Thank you for choosing to work in SEND school, that role is so needed.
Come back and tell us how you get on. Be kind to yourself in the next few days.
I have been so lonely, so to have this little chat with both of you has helped greatly
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I also work as a teaching assistant with SEND children. I hope things work out for you. I had to return for finance reasons too, itâs very hard. LJ
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I hope you have a restful night. LJ