Returning to work

Hi all it’s nearly 6 months for me not returned to yet not ready for it just yet had sickness review this week was asked what my plan was regarding returning to work or finishing don’t want to finish but don’t feel ready to return yet home is my safe space has anyone else been in this position x

Hello @Rugby ,

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very very difficult at the moment and you are feeling really unsure about returning to work.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

You may also find this Sue Ryder help page regarding returning to working helpful. Returning to work after bereavement - supporting you | Sue Ryder

Take care - keep reaching out,


I’m in a similar position. Have been off work 6 months since I lost my partner in January.
I’m not sure if I can return to work, but have decided to give it a go with a phased return. I feel that I now need some sort of normality. I like my job and the people I work with but I’ve no idea if I will cope, but decided I won’t know unless I try. If I feel it is too much I will go off sick again or just leave.
I would say do what you feel is right for you. Maybe talk option through with your manager if you haven’t already xx

Thank you for your reply , think it’s only thing I can do is give a try and see how it goes as you say if need to go back off sick take care x

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I also feel like this, i lost my dad 2 months ago unexpectedly to cancer…not the fainest idea. Ive been signed off work before my dad got unwell due to personal problems and now this. Dont want to go back to work but at the same time i do but dont want to rush back in.

No don’t rush I’m a nurse and under pressure from management to return promise you all support you need when back at work tbh it’s load of rubbish tell you anything to get you back to work only numbers we are take care

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Yeah last week i woke up and thought ill go bsck to work, im kind of ready, last night i thought i can’t do it, and this morning i feel readyish again. My dad pnly passed away in June. Im supposed to be working on Wednesday morning(tomorrow) just for a few hours.

I work with children too so my emotions are going to be all over the place, but thr longer i leave it, the harder it gets so everyone keeps telling me.

Do i go back or is it still too soon? :thinking:

Feel the same one minute think I can return to the next think I can’t , it’s such a roller coaster you can’t predict emotions so it makes it so difficult to make a decision x

I am trying to work, but I am struggling, a lack of focus and inability to focus is the worst.
Be gentle on yourself and reach out to the support mechanisms available, this is our journey and personal to each one of us, there is no right or wrong, just do what feels right, what you can cope with.


Hi Rugby . Sorry for your loss. It’s nearly 6 months for me. Yes I understand. I went back after 12 weeks. It was too early for me. They kept asking “when are you coming back “ saying I would be better taking my mind off it !!! Really my world has just crashed and I have lost my love my soul mate suddenly !excuse me for feeling how I do .I felt I had to put on this “I am okay mask” when I was feeling I just did not want to get up and face anyone anymore.(Still do).
My back to work interview made me feel guilty and I had done something wrong.
I just could not cope , I tried my best but have just had another 2 weeks off. No sleep , anxiety ,flash backs it all feels too much.
Go when you are ready look after you you need this time,there is no time limited for grief as we all grieve differently.
One day at a time. Thinking of you .

Annie when you ready. Do not be pressured by anyone.

I lost my Mum in March and had 3 months off and even after that I wasn’t ready but my work environment is so stressful and I’m struggling more than ever now.

They put so much pressure on me coming back so I decided to go back on a phased return and on my first day back they turned round and said they wanted me back on my normal working hours asap as they’re cracking down on sickness.

They didn’t even offer any support for me, I have since had a job offer and can’t wait to hand in my notice! Like
@Rugby says we are just a number!

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Sounds like my work place :frowning:

Ive been back at works 2 weeks and feel so lost and numb. I dont feel myself in work, i work with childten and my personality has changed, im just so down