Returning to work

Need some advice,i lost my partner suddenly&unexpectedly on 17/7/23 &have been off work ever since.My boss rang me today &is putting pressure on me to go back to work even though i have explained that i am in such a dark place mentally at the moment that i can’t even think about work,i am too mentally&emotionally fragile &know for a fact i would not be able to cope(i work in a busy post office/shop so need to be on the ball)I have been trying to ring Drs for the past few weeks to get an appointment so i can get a sick note but as we all know trying to get a Drs appointment at the moment is near on impossible.I’m in such a state-stressed to bits about it &not sure what to do.i have to ring my boss by Monday to let him know what i want to do whether i want to leave or go back.Any advice would be very welome.

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Can you email the surgery for a sick note? I was very lucky work wise. Asking if you want to leave is inappropriate. If you’re off sick they can’t do anything and they can’t sack you either. I would contact citizens advice for advice but also see if you can email on surgery website.

@Ali29 Thank you so much for your advice,stupidly i hadn’t even thought about emailing surgery to request sick note -didn’t know you could do that thought you had to physically see a Dr(sorry serious brain fog at moment)I will try that &see if i can get backdated sicknote

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Doctors will ring you I’m sure, if they have to see you but due to your circumstances, I’m sure there won’t be a problem. Brain fog is
huge problem lol. My memory pants too. Good luck.

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I am pretty certain they can’t backdate sick notes. I think I asked for one once. Don’t think much of your employer. My last ones were horrible which was why I retired. I suffered corporate bullying as they wanted to get rid of all their older employees. If you have a current sick note they can’t do anything so definitely e mail your surgery.

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Actually not impossible at my surgery. At one point we’re even considering a home visit and assigned me a health coach. The more I read in this site the more I appreciate my surgery. I doubt they can fire you without going through due process anyway if you have worked for them for a while. Whole set of warning procedures.

Hi @Hayz71

I lost my son in June . I’ve been signed off work and haven’t had to see a doctor. Just email them and they should forward a fit note and they can be backdated .


Ok. Rules must have changed for the better I might say.

@Tilly13 Thank you so much for your advice,i will get that sorted.So sorry for the loss of your Son,sending healing hugs x

Unfortunately i work for a small family run business not a big company so he is trying to make me feel guilty for being off for the last 6 weeks &said i’ve just got to get on with it &carry on with my life-oh how i wish it was that easy!

Heartless bastard,just wait until it happens to him.


Easy for him to say .

You have enough to deal with .

Get signed off so you can put it to the back if your mind for a bit then reassess when the note runs out .


My thoughts exactly!He seems to think i should be over it by now-i told him i’m not in a good place but all he said was hes been patient with me &that its not fair on my co workers having to cover my shifts -literally wanted to scream at him!Its added stress that i coukd really do without :pensive:

6 weeks is nothing . A mere blink of an eye.

Your boss is just adding to your stress .

There isn’t enough support out there for bereaved people .

If you go back before you are ready you will probably end up being off at a later date so he’d be wise to let you come back when you’re ready .

Take care


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I’m so close to just telling him to stick his bloody job up his a**e-i want to move away from where i live now anyway so may be the kick up the backside that i need to make it happen sooner.xx

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When my husband died, my work needed a sick note to cover all my time off. I emailed the GP and they signed me off with bereavement. They will do this for as long as you need and you will keep your job until you are ready to return. Love, hugs and prayers to you. xx

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Thank you so much for your advice I will definitely do that Sending love to you too xx

Just had a thought . If you have the nhs app you can also request a fit note this way .



Hope you get your fit note sorted today .


I have filled out an online request &sent to my Drs sugery -fingers crossed xx